tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77966813266572765742024-02-29T21:39:56.920-08:00LACEY REAH'S Insane Ramblings On Everything Under The SunLACEY REAH'S Insane Ramblings On Everything Under The SunLacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-30694101328667138812022-05-15T09:25:00.001-07:002022-05-15T09:25:49.056-07:00My Shamanic Journey on Why We Feel Love as Well as Cruelty and Pain<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNLVn9cgHXTyXsv-scC3Fn8a01fvuhKXCZT5rbSG8N1YrSVyc3Uy3v1uGRz2_qfoPlqemkQKne52DwH5BeAWVl5vDCucJP8AqDhWczCt0-COIZEmBZyIHJMoYqkdwFgKiLO1ik7prKNFK80Fo6WRFELti2jBgIR-SJfpSP8hMm-gV6FEqYHth4wi3pwA/s3264/20210429_193452.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3264" data-original-width="1836" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNLVn9cgHXTyXsv-scC3Fn8a01fvuhKXCZT5rbSG8N1YrSVyc3Uy3v1uGRz2_qfoPlqemkQKne52DwH5BeAWVl5vDCucJP8AqDhWczCt0-COIZEmBZyIHJMoYqkdwFgKiLO1ik7prKNFK80Fo6WRFELti2jBgIR-SJfpSP8hMm-gV6FEqYHth4wi3pwA/s320/20210429_193452.jpg" width="180" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>I'm posting this here because there are other shamanic journeys that I have shared and because some people who I shared this with said they were glad I did and that I should share it some more.</p><p>It all started with me coming up with rational definitions of time and life and it took me to a pretty dark place.</p><div><div>Linear time is measured by measuring entropy. We all know that material objects fall into entropy over time, therefore, the movement of time is the distribution of entropy. The universe becomes more "disorderly." Particles disperse more as time goes on. This doesn't reverse, therefore, we are able to measure the aging of things and that's how we know that time exists. For example, you can't break an egg and then reverse that. Once the egg is broken, that's it. Once a body has rotted in the earth, there's no bringing it back. That's linear time. It can't be reversed.</div><div><br /></div><div>Living things can be described as objects that slow down entropy by devouring other living things. If a fish isn't fed, it dies. It must consume in order to keep living and not rot away. What a tragic thought. By definition, life is violent. To continue to live means to devour other living things, to consume. So is the ultimate sign of compassion the ability to just let ourselves die? Would that do the least amount of harm? The saddest part of this train of logic is that we all fall into entropy eventually. We're all just desperately trying to slow down the process. Everything dies. We're trying to save the earth because we think it will save us, but the truth is, nothing is permanent. Does that mean we should stop striving to thrive and live?</div><div><br /></div><div>I saw a major ethical conundrum brewing with this thought and I believe a lot of existential pain comes from subconsciously being aware of our need to be cruel in order to survive.</div><div><br /></div><div>This theme was brewing in the back of my mind when I sat at stoney point to commune with my ancestors tonight. I let my mind go, to speak to whoever I happened to run into and if I found another spirit animal along the way, that was fine too.</div><div> </div><div>Logic cannot be used to fathom an irrational world. You just end up rolling your eyes at everyone and everything.</div><div>So I opened another part of my mind, that part that goes beyond logic. I was seeking to speak with any spirit traveling through the ether during this time when the veil between the spirit world and the material world is at its thinnest. At least, that's what many cultures believe.</div><div><br /></div><div>And as I visited my ancestors, some who have passed recently, I found myself speaking to my great grandmother once again who had given me some of the best wisdom last time as she was a shamanic healer. And she opened me up in my meditative state to feel life all around me. Every herb, piece of dirt, drop of water, etc. has magical healing properties and I could see the aura of everything and how the energy flows in and through us and how it could be blocked and unblocked with touch and hydration etc. As a healer, she told me, I will amaze people by speaking what I thought to be obvious.</div><div><br /></div><div>Last time I saw her, she said the power of a healer lies in the faith of those who are being healed. People need to believe in you. It's the belief that heals you.</div><div>Then as I sat there, experiencing the aura of my stoney nature retreat, I thought I'd see what spirit animal was willing to speak to me, and I went into a tunnel that goes way underground in my search. There was no living animal, just a giant spirit, a snakelike spirit that slithered through the rocks and between them, shaping the landscape of the earth. I tried to ride the worm as I have in the past with other spirit animals but it was unlike any animal I had spoken to before. It was an energy and riding it felt like swimming. It was like swimming in air and land. Then suddenly, there seemed to be no difference between any of the elements. It was as if earth, water, air and fire were all the same, all made of this same ethereal energy. This snake-like creature that seeped through and between everything was the spirit of the earth itself.</div><div><br /></div><div>And as I rode with the spirit, I felt one with it and I felt that it loved everything it touched. And I realized that to divorce yourself from spiritual existence doesn't mean you stop caring about life. To give up on living means to give up on love. To move on and fall in love with something else. How do I explain this?</div><div><br /></div><div>It's like our souls keep their body alive because they want to. They fall in love with the feeling of living, of touching, feeling. They fall in love with feeling pain and sorrow, joy and pleasure. To love material things is not divorcing yourself from what is divine. This is a weird experience because I have always shunned man's obsession with the material world. But this spirit told me that to love this earth is a good thing. To want to taste and touch and consume and keep oneself alive is part of the experience of love. It's not cruel. It's a sort of ethereal passion. And when one gives up one's body to move on to other plains, it's because one wants to venture on.</div><div><br /></div><div>But why, I asked, does cruelty exist? Why do animals fight and compete and kill and go to war? I got the idea that this also has to do with love. Our souls fall in love with what we find to be beautiful. We get caught up in the moment and we battle it out to protect the things we love and violence and pain is just another part of the experience that we came here to feel. It's all still about love.</div><div>Somehow the spirits were trying to convince my skeptical, rational mind that our foolish humanity isn't all just biological. Much of what we experienced is felt by the soul and spirits still feel without the body. But when we inhabit a living organism, it's all part of the fun and souls do that willingly. </div><div><br /></div><div>So maybe it is all about love and I really should take the time to feel, and meditate and just let go more often. Because too much thinking is likely to turn me into an asshole.</div><div><br /></div><div>Some Buddhist Philosophies talk about renouncing our desires in order to end suffering but according to my journey, that's not what the spirits want. Our desire is not just a physical matter. We do not disappear and become spiritual just because we relinquish our passions. That is not what enlightenment is. Part of feeling the bliss of living is to indulge and enjoy every emotion, just like getting lost in a really good movie. The goal is not to stop feeling the egocentric emotions going through us. When I journeyed into the spirit world, I felt one with everything but I was also in awe of the love and passion and pain that still exists and is a beautiful part of the whole experience.</div><div><br /></div><div>I think we should be very careful that we do not dissociate or separate<br /> ourselves from these experiences, misinterpreting this as spiritual superiority. We are experiencing what we experience for a reason and to detach ourselves is to dull the experience and disallow ourselves from learning what we came here to learn. Yet, understanding this on a deeper level is also a type of detachment because I am able to feel and live without panicking. I know that it is all just a necessary part of the experience.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;" /></div></div>Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-89557108662364062772020-11-08T21:46:00.000-08:002020-11-08T21:46:43.937-08:00On Not Writing<p>I mourn the days when I had to write every thought, every idea, every interesting thing that ever happened. I couldn't sleep without writing it. I couldn't let go. </p><p>I used to have an impeccably detailed memory. Writing helped me with forgetting. Remembering everything that ever happened is not really a good thing. Memories are ghosts that haunt you if you can't forgot, can't move on. </p><p>Now I'm learning not to write down everything and to forget them too. I supposed its my new stage of maturity. </p><p>Letting go of writing is like letting go of my identity. It used to be the most important thing in the world. But now, I suppose its not.</p><p>The world moves on. Ideas come and go. I can think, dream, make up stories as I go along without having to record everything, without this need of a captains log. </p><p>Writing everything down can be so damaging to myself and to others. There is a certain rigidity that comes with writing, like saying this thought is now permanent. It has been sealed on paper.</p><p>Memories, at least, can change.</p><p>Learning not to write everything down is like learning forgiveness. letting the past just disappear as if it never happened; not having to to record everything someone said so you can use it against them later on. You can just live in the moment.</p><p>How unlike the identity I have worked so hard to build for myself all those years. But its our identities that bind us to the ego, that prevents us from transforming into something new, if that's what life demands.</p><p>Then it doesn't matter what life demands. Who are we to assume we know what life demands, what God demands., what humanity is and what it isn't?</p><p>I used to think I had to always write. Van Gogh once said, "if you hear a voice in you that says you cannot paint, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silent." He also said something about striking when the iron is hot because there will be other days devoid of inspiration, when you find it hard to get out of bed. </p><p>Van Gogh sold only one of his brilliant paintings and died unsuccessful and unhappy. How could no one see his brilliance? I saw his paintings and read his letters when I was a young teen and immediately fell in love with him. I could relate to his struggles, his passion and his inability to adapt to reality.</p><p>I was so afraid of not being a writer. I struck when the iron was hot, not because I was taking advantage of my manic moments but because it was the only thing that rescued me from drowning in my own misery. Then it became my identity. If I wasn't a writer, then what else was there? I was afraid of what was beyond that.</p><p>Sometimes, when I'm alone, I miss that restless writer in me, always reaching for an idea or fantasy. I miss the feeling of insanity, of drowning in my subconscious. In a way its a good thing that I've learned to cope with reality better without having to go there. I still eat chocolate though. That helps too.</p><p>I wrote this for me but I figured I'd share for anyone still willing to be a voyeur.</p><p>Sorry, I've been in a dry spell for so long but I don't want to sell out. Once I have made enough money, I plan to drown in my creativity again. Then again, maybe choosing a hiatus from writing may lead me to something altogether different. Losing myself is scary. Maybe I'll find someone else at the end of all of this, or maybe I'll find a way to come back to Lacey Reah, being more confident of who she always was.</p><p><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">One of my wishes is that those dark trees,</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">So old and firm they scarcely show the breeze,</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">Were not, as 'twere, the merest mask of gloom,</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">But stretched away unto the edge of doom.</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">I should not be withheld but that some day</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">into their vastness I should steal away,</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">Fearless of ever finding open land,</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">or highway where the slow wheel pours the sand.</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">I do not see why I should e'er turn back,</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">Or those should not set forth upon my track</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">To overtake me, who should miss me here</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">And long to know if still I held them dear.</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">They would not find me changed from him the knew--</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">Only more sure of all I though was true.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">--Robert Frost</span></p>Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-61437831234491422132020-07-18T20:02:00.001-07:002020-07-18T20:02:28.324-07:00What if it Were a Woman<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Nietzsche once wrote something about truth being a woman and how the dogma of men have failed to understand women.</div>
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Use woman as a metaphor and suddenly, everyone gets it. Men understand how unfathomable the metaphor is and start to accept their ignorance. Women understand just how much they themselves have been misunderstood, by men especially. </div>
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We always seem to be what everyone around us want us to be.</div>
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As a woman, I've been pursued. I've been analyzed and idolized. I've certainly been misinterpreted, often because to truly understand me would mean to destroy the fantasy that one may have already imagined of me.</div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Deep inside, I often laugh at what others think, often a projection of themselves; and its funny how my points are often misinterpreted to suit the beliefs of those who witness them.</span></div>
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What if fortune was a woman? How often do men think they can control her, fortune that is. When things are good, they take it for granted. They think they are blessed and don't realize when disaster is lurking around the corner. Men pursue their plans with vigor, so certain of the outcome, as if you really can control your plans? Can you really control your woman? Is she really yours?</div>
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What if ideas were women? How we cling to our ideas and our methods, long after they've stopped working for us, as a man clings to a woman who has completely gotten over her infatuation of him. Then they wonder why those ideas no longer serve them.</div>
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A man once completely disregarded something I said because it wasn't in line with his view of what a woman should be. Then he said that we are all crazy and we shouldn't even listen to ourselves; making me realize that there really was no point in speaking intelligently to him, since I obviously have no credibility. In this sense, women are denied a voice. This man had already decided what he knew about me and what I had to say wasn't going to change that. This brings me back to Nietzsche when he said, </div>
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"Supposing that Truth is a woman--what then? Is there not grounds for suspecting that all philosophers, in so far as they have been dogmatists, have failed to understand women--that the terrible seriousness and clumsy importunity with which they have usually paid their addresses to Truth, have been unskilled and unseemly methods for winning a woman?"</div>
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Nietzsche also said that sometimes people don't want to hear their truth because they don't want to destroy their illusions. In this case, who needs truth anyway? If that fantasy woman is what keeps you going, then so be it. You don't need to know that your perfect little playboy heartthrob is flesh and blood with scars and shadows and demons of her own. See her however you want to see her, a figment of your imagination.</div>
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So is our truth. Often its just a belief, our own mind imagining what we think the universe is all about. As humans, we like to simplify things and even if we are proven wrong, we cling to our ideas because they give us our identity and a sense of structure.</div>
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So think what you will of women, just don't be shocked when all of those beliefs blow up in your face one day, and you wonder if you ever really knew this creature you once adored so much. Perhaps you never did, nor did you ever want to.</div>
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-6677533730801330222020-07-18T20:02:00.000-07:002020-07-19T08:52:11.507-07:00Nietzsche vs. Buddha<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have a friend who has a Nietzsche tattoo on his arm, and Tibetan Buddhist tattoos on his forearms.<br />
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I find it ironic, seeing how Nietzsche criticized the Buddhists so much and how much their views clashed.<br />
Yet, I can't help but find myself torn between the two philosophies.<br />
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Nietzsche loved Dionysus, the arts, beauty and passion. he felt deeply and didn't apologized for it.<br />
Buddha sat under a tree and realized that the end to suffering would be to let go of all needs and wants.<br />
Nietzsche happily suffered all his life. He died saving the life of a horse. He was madly in love with a woman who couldn't love him back and he didn't keep it a secret.<br />
Buddha was great at squelching such infatuations and promised that this would end human suffering. He saw them as illusions and had his disciple do things like imagine the woman he was obsessed with was a corpse, withering away and dying just like everyone else. Because individual identity is an illusion.<br />
So who was right?<br />
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Nietzsche said to deny one's emotions, one's desires is to go against nature. How can the Buddhists truly understand nature if they squelch human desire and suffering?<br />
Buddha said that human desire is an illusion that blinds us to the truth and by separating ourselves from attachments, we can separate ourselves from prejudices such as love and hate that make us see the world in a limited way.<br />
Nietzsche would say that the Buddhists are just another breed of philosophers trying to preach their beliefs without questioning it themselves. In this sense, they still have their own prejudices and point of views, therefore they aren't as far removed from the limitations of humanity as they like to think they are.<br />
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The one thing the two of them agreed on is that we are all prejudiced and that we all like to cling to our ideas. Maybe they are both right. Maybe we can use Nietzsche's philosophy when it suits us and Buddha's philosophy at other times.<br />
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If you are madly in love with the right person, then why deny that attachment? Nietzsche would say to indulge in that feeling of love and to deny it would just be a waste of time. Denying such feelings would also be going against nature and living half a life, a life of no passion.<br />
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But if you are in love with the wrong person, someone who is abusive or who belongs to someone else, then its wiser to listen to Buddha. Buddha will help you separate yourself from your desire by saying there is nothing different about that person from any other human being and that its just a trick of our biological processes that makes us feel infatuation.<br />
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So, there is a time and a place for every philosophy and as I read, mature and learn; I have stopped calling myself a stoic, a Buddhist, a Christian, a Hindu, an existentialist, etc. I don't want to be bound by a point of view if it doesn't serve me and I don't want to feel thatvI can't question it in certain situations.<br />
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So my new belief is to not believe, but to keep an open mind; to keep learning and keep questioning without feeling like there has to be one right method. To cling to a belief is to defend it utterly which makes it impossible to see the truth. After all, what if you're wrong? If you refuse to contradict your own dogma, then there's no way you can learn anything beyond that. I really love learning new things. I guess it gives me a dopamine rush, and I'm sure Nietzsche would welcome that dopamine rush while the Buddhists will make sure that I know that the dopamine rush is just a trick of emotion that helps motivate me, but I shouldn't be dependent on such a high.<br />
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On top of that, refusing to know the truth can truly harm us. What if we have a curable cancer, and we refuse to acknowledge it? Most likely, it will kill us. So ignorance can kill us as does an overactive clinging to our affiliations and beliefs. Just look at the world today, as we continually polarize ourselves with our ridiculous politics.<br />
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As for my friend with the contradicting tattoos, I tease him for it but I'm all for him believing in contradicting philosophers. But its all in good fun. Ralph Waldo Emmerson once said that we should be open to change our minds as we learn new things. He said that it may confuse others, but that's a great thing. He said Pythagoras and Copernicus and many other great thinkers were misunderstood. "To be great is to be misunderstood."<br />
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-40820527180962460972020-01-01T11:14:00.000-08:002020-01-01T11:35:41.131-08:00Reflection on the past decade and the one to come, and why I don't social network as much<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's New Years morning.<br />
<br />
I feel like I have to write something. Dare I post it on blogger?<br />
<br />
I open up my blogger page and see all of these unpublished drafts. As the world has become more controversial over the past decade, so have my blogs, my logic, my feelings and my whole view of the world.<br />
<br />
But I find that my writing muscles have atrophied of late. I've been putting the past five years into other endeavors, such as building my own side business, raising a family and playing sports.<br />
I have been interacting more with people in real life. Due to this fact, I'm much happier and more content. This leads to less confusion, less obsessing and therefore, less writing.<br />
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Social networking was different during my myspace blogging days when we all used to read each other's blogs, comment on them and use them to fuel our need to write more blogs. I felt there was a strong sense of intellectual bonding back in those days.<br />
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But times have changed. People don't read blogs anymore. They read memes. The attention span of my audience and of my fellow bloggers have changed. Those I knew who took solace in blog writing in order to uplift themselves spiritually or gain a greater sense of understanding of the world no longer do it.<br />
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Our correspondence has been reduced to 140 characters. How nuanced can that be? Our reading has been wittled down to looking at slogans and pictures. Propaganda everywhere. We are being manipulated so easily.<br />
<br />
As one who has observed this from the outside, all I see is that we are being polarized. We react emotionally to those who don't share the same world view as we do. The best way to cope is to only surround ourselves with those who agree. This only pigeon holes our own world view even more and closes us off to the world.<br />
<br />
Such is the nature of today's social networking. This wasn't the case during the original blogging days because there was more to read, more to reflect upon. These days, we see more posts but they are mostly pictures or clichés, created to illicit an emotional response.<br />
<br />
The great thing about having conversations in real life is that there is this natural flow. You can see the reaction of that person. You can right away notice if there is a misunderstanding and talk through it.<br />
<br />
I do love conversing with intelligent souls and I used to use social networking as a way to gain more of this experience but as people started becoming more emotional and defensive, I realized that the current virtual systems no longer work so I made an effort to be more present for others in real life.<br />
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When you play sports and hang out afterwards, you are willing to accept that person's differences and learn from them because the share the same passion for the game, at least. So the past decade has been a true turning to real life for me. I canceled my facebook account in 2012. I hear my friends beg me to come back. Meanwhile they complain about the trolls and the drama. I suppose misery loves company.<br />
<br />
I was looking through an old box of memorabilia and found tons of handwritten letters from friends from the years when I moved to New York to peruse art. How insightful and whimsical they were, so unlike the political memes they now post on the internet. I felt like we really understood each other then as we shared our experiences and reflections. I felt as if we really respected our differences and tried to learn from them. But alas, things change.<br />
<br />
In the end, it's my choice how I want to maneuver my life and spending less time on social media as the rest of the world starts to live there is my own choice. During a time of great social unrest and polarization, I have found a strange peace in my soul, a solace away from the constant distraction that used to leave my mind ill at ease. I'm more focused now and more capable doing more work.<br />
<br />
I still pay attention to what's going on. I read at least 5 books a month, mostly non-fiction but fiction as well. It scares me that people I once knew who were avid book readers tell me they no longer have the time and attention for it because the hours they spend on Facebook has gone up. I read quite a bit during my commute as work and family takes up more time.<br />
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There was a time that we stopped talking to each other and would just go to our separate screens. Then I started meeting people online who would purposely talk to strangers because they didn't like their own family. I told myself that should never happen to me.<br />
<br />
So as this new decade approaches, I keep these thoughts in mind. Relationships take work and we must focus on the important ones. Distractions are great when we are bored but if we use them to take away from important tasks, such as health, family and meaningful work, then we need to step back and use our free will to make better choices.<br />
<br />
So long as I focus on what's important to me, it shouldn't matter what other people say or how they judge me. I never cared what people thought. Therefore, I never had to start huge movements trying to get people to accept me. Instead, I want to start movements that bring people together because it makes them happy and included. Instead of complaining that the world is against me because I'm a woman of color, I will continue to start my own movements that includes people, regardless of their own gender, orientation or race. I think that is more powerful. That creates waves of love rather than shouts of offense and defense. That's what I've been doing in my IRL work.<br />
<br />
As my public philosophic writing has slowed down, I assure you that I haven't retreated into a bubble. I am almost too aware of our social situation but I'm spending more time trying to understand it. I'm speaking less and listening more. I'm reading books from all points of view because its very important to me that my own perspective is as close to the truth as possible. I don't want to react and cling to a political agenda without truly knowing what's important and what isn't, what works and what doesn't.<br />
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I realize that all I've been doing with these blogs is simply preach to those who already agree with me and push away those who don't. So I listen more than speak now. And when someone is listening to you, you are more likely to listen to them. If we keep doing things the way we've always been doing, it will just take us down the rabbit hole of more polarization, more hate, more depression and anger at those who just can't see things our way.<br />
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So I will continue to cultivate my own mind and body as I age, and I must say that I'm aging quite well, or should I say, not really aging at all? Only in understanding ourselves and empowering ourselves can we really understand and empower others. Only in changing ourselves can we change our lives an the lives of others.<br />
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Since my blogging days have subsided I have no idea if anyone would read this. Been so long since I've written and I can't blame my fans for losing me to the other distractions of the media. But if you somehow found this blog, happy new year to you. Happy new decade! Wishing you peace, love and strength in this changing world.<br />
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-39471364479959202962019-08-16T15:53:00.001-07:002019-08-16T15:53:19.294-07:00another post I don't plan to pubish<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I was looking through my drafts and found a ton of posts I never published. I wrote them just for me. Yes, I haven't written much in a long time. I've written professional blogs for work, at least my alter ego has; but Lacey Reah has been on hiatus, practically suicidal.<br />
<br />
I speak metaphorically of course. When I say "suicidal" I mean that I've been thinking of killing this alias for a while. I've thought of taking my books off the market and starting all over again under a different name.<br />
<br />
Of course, I haven't killed her, haven't killed myself. I've just been hiding under a rock. I've been writing, just not publishing. I'm an introvert. I can't stand too much attention. I love to write, but networking and marketing take a lot out of me because its the opposite of the solitude I crave. I wish I wasn't such a loner by nature. I have had to work more lately too and I've been too overwhelmed to write fiction. I'm sorry.<br />
<br />
But for the few fans that are still out there, I'm publishing one of my personal entries, one I never had the intention of publishing.<br />
<br />
It was dated 12/30/18. I look at it now and wonder why I stopped publishing my thoughts.<br />
I'm putting it out there now.<br />
<br />
I might put out more personal, not meant for publication pieces in the future.<br />
<br />
Hi diary,<br />
<br />
These days, you're everywhere, a journal in my bag, a notebook by my bed, a draft in my inbox, a draft in my blog, a letter I don't send.<br />
<br />
I don't even try to organize you, which just reflects more and more where my mind is. That is, if you are a reflection of my mind. The sad part is, if I want to publish a part of you, like the passages of the novel and book I was looking to write, it'll be a bitch trying to retrieve those notes.<br />
<br />
You are not for organizing. You are for the part of me I can't restrain. I should be doing something else right now. I have a deadline, but I can't. I'm too tired, too overwhelmed. So I turn to you, the chaos of my mind. You help me calm it. You are me. You are God. You are the great spirit.<br />
<br />
Last night I dreamed I was dancing with Lucifer.<br />
He said he'd dance with me in such away that I'd forget I ever hated ballet.<br />
He said Tuesdays were a great day for change.<br />
It bothered me. I wish I knew what it meant.<br />
<br />
I'm glad to be maturing, yet sometimes I don't know who I am anymore. I sometimes feel I'm the real me when I'm vulnerable and forced to write to you. This is when I'm at my worst, but its also when I'm at my best. it's when my soul comes out. Yet, why won't I open this side of me up to anyone else? Why hide it if its so great?<br />
<br />
I wonder if there's a point when a dancer has danced too much; a time when the dancer no longer knows herself. She is just body and choreography. She feels like a puppet on a string, forced to move a certain way. Who is she besides the body and movement? What is beyond that?</div>
Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-59412978130400163832018-08-27T22:17:00.000-07:002018-08-28T15:59:13.705-07:00Ramblings on my Absence, Hate and Human Rights<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Life has been hectic which has left me little time to blog, though I've done some journaling here and there, mostly between gigs, or during rare moments when I'm waiting and have nothing but my notebook to keep me company. I've kept those thoughts to myself, however. The rise of social networking has left me longing for those days when thoughts were private and I have regressed back to keeping much of my writings in my diary. Also, during this busy period of my life, I feel its just easier to focus on the actions that puts food on the table and supports my family. Hopefully, a time will come when I can put more energy into artistic pursuits again. Writing can be self consuming and masturbatory act. Yet,I do miss having more time to write and share with my fellow artists, those people who color the world with imagination and childlike questioning. I sometimes forget how much courage it takes to speak one's mind.<br />
<br />
But today, I'm putting some work aside to write about something that I think is vitally important and I figured if I feel this strongly about it, I should probably share it as well. I do have a strong sense of moral conscience and a strong sense of fun and humor. I hope people don't get these two mixed up as both are important. I'll write a juicy piece of erotica one day and a very elaborate story about the human condition another. Its who I am and I refuse to censor myself in order to cater to a particular genre or demographic just for the sake of marketing. I made that choice when I became an independently published author on the side that I either stay true to myself or not do this at all. I have yet to sell out or change something I write in order to appease a publisher or group. But I digress.<br />
<br />
My recent thought has been on how hate brings us together. This is not an opinion but a psychological fact. It's been well documented that if you want to connect with someone, they are more likely to love you if you find out that you have a common dislike. This is more powerful than having something in common.<br />
<br />
For example, if you hate the "Twilight" series because of their vegan like vampires that sparkle in the sun and you meet someone who shares the same strong opinion, you will get a surge of affection towards them. If you've been harboring a secret fear of white people and you confess this to a friend who turns out to feel the same way, you have found yourself a buddy for life. This phenomenon has been exploited by popular marketing experts and by the algorithms on the internet, as your search engine keeps feeding you more articles that promote your strong dislikes, exposing you to more people who are like you and sheltering you from those who are not. Just look at how polarized our nation has become.<br />
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Have you ever tried to convince a polarized group to see it the other way? I have, and had tomatoes thrown at me. I was simply asking a group of breastfeeding moms to be a bit nicer when they talked about how horrible non-breastfeeding moms are. I appealed to their sense of empathy and said that they are moms too and I've known a few who wanted more than anything to breastfeed but they just couldn't do it. This fact has filled them with guilt. I was told to get lost, and to find another group. One mom actually said, "of course I'm prejudice. I want to be around people who are like me," she was applauded for her firm defense of prejudice. Why was I part of the group? Because I was a breastfeeding mom. I had friends who both breast fed and formula fed and felt equally compassionate toward both. But I learned that I'm an anomaly. What was it about me, that I could love those who are not like me?<br />
But my formula feeding friends are like me. They have had similar trials and tribulations. And many absolutely believe that breastfeeding is good for their kids, they just couldn't do it. I suppose I tend to prefer to notice similarities over differences. It's easier to learn and relate when I see connections.<br />
<br />
I also realize that I too am drawn to people who share my dislikes. When someone agrees with me on political matters, I feel an affinity towards them. If they dislike a movie for the same reason I do, I feel like I found a brother or sister. But I have to step back and remind myself of my folly.<br />
<br />
If you follow my blogs, you might know that I'm terribly torn by the human condition. I am disgusted by much of our traits, like the way we love to hate, the way we love to dominate, and destroy what stands in our way, the way we've made most animals and plants extinct unless they benefit us, and the long history of atrocities that often makes me ashamed to be human. I know that pride is one of the sins that has caused all this horror and I'm not too proud to admit, that I too have human folly. We all do.<br />
<br />
There was once a German Catholic clergy man who said something to the affect of this: They went after the communists and I didn't do anything. They went after the Jews and I turned a blind eye, so when they went after my church, it was too late.<br />
He said this years before the end of the WWII. The snow ball of hate had started and it would just get worse as the entire world was engulfed in the hell of war and innocent people were executed for their religion or creed. Millions and millions of innocent Jews were exterminated, forced into stoves and gas chambers. Mothers and children were murdered first because they weren't capable of doing work for the German government. Just like humans, we used and destroyed what we hated. Yes, I said "we" because we are all part of the same race, and sometimes we turn on ourselves. Some Germans tried to stage a coup and rise up against this atrocity that was leaving all of Europe in ruins but it was too late. The damage was done.<br />
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I also want to point out the fact that when some people protested against the killings of "undesirables" and the Jews, Hitler supposedly stopped this mission, yet continued to do it in secret.<br />
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Look what we've done to ourselves, to our blacks, our Native Americans, our Armenians, our Christians, our Pagans, our Jews. etc... I'm sure I've left out other groups who were victims of mass genocide and hatred and for that I apologize. But the truth is, it could be anyone. At any time in history, there was always someone the masses loved to hate and often, we acted on that hatred.<br />
<br />
Right now our president has been doing everything he can to make us hate Mexican immigrants and he has even separated children from their parents in his attempt to rid our country of them. This is how it starts. If an immigrant is illegal, its okay to hate them right? But when do we draw the line? Do they cease to be human and have the rights of any decent human being?<br />
<a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-officials-surprised-americans-cared-about-family-separations-zero-tolerance-2018-8" target="_blank">The Trump administration was reportedly surprised that Americans cared about immigrant kids being separated from their families at the border</a><br />
<br />
<br />
To quote Proffesor Thomas Childers, "Be vigilant about your rights and care about the fundamental human rights of others. When the rights of others, no matter how small are violated, your freedom, your liberty is put at risk. Let there never be a day when we cast about in horror and wonder, 'how did it ever come to this?'"<br />
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It's very easy to fight for free speech, until someone says something you don't like. It's easy to stand up for civil rights of minorities, well, except for that one group your family has always hated. But when people put me down for supporting those who aren't like me and wonder why I do it. This is why. None of us are safe from this. Any doctrine of hatred towards someone else, can easily turn against the rest of us. A leader who is motivated by hate and domination will always turn on his people. Only a leader who is fair and just can keep the peace.</div>
Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-64200495785639824932018-01-08T21:08:00.002-08:002018-12-30T19:50:55.584-08:00Random Thoughts for the New Year<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b>On leaving the past behind</b>: 2017 was such a year of chaos, full of hurricanes, shootings, earthquakes, political and social unrest etc. I guess I felt at home in such an environment since chaos and anarchy (though we needed more anarchy) does inspire me, but I spent most of my time working. I worked harder this year than I have since 1998, so I apologize for not blogging as much and canceling my google plus accounts. I just didn't have the time for it. Still, I have to reflect because 2017 was a million stories all in one, so here goes:<br />
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<b>On Politics</b>: Politics, it seems to me, is all about people fighting for what they want. There's still a lot of racism and sexism in the world and the transparency of the internet has made that very clear. What gets me is this belief that if we give some people their rights, it takes away the rights of others. If we give women power, somehow men will be dis-empowered or if we let blacks or immigrants speak out, whites will lose their privilege and so on and so forth. This is all absolutely ridiculous. If we all had rights, we'd all have equal advantages and no one would have to fight with each other. It's not about competition, its about cooperation. Our party system makes politics out to be a constant competition and because of this, we bicker with one another rather than work with each other to find the best solutions for our country.<br />
I believe that if you want the government to be fair you have to pretend you are not born yet. You have no idea if you'll be black, white, male female, rich, poor, healthy, disabled; in short, you will have no other choice but to back laws that are fair to all people, no matter which class, race or situation they are in.<br />
But humans are egotistical and we only see our own stories.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>On the Me Too movement</b>: Me too. I've been assaulted. I've been harassed. Heck, I've been harassed so many times, I've sort of accepted it as a part of being a woman. Luckily, I know martial arts or I'd probably a victim of rape too. I used to brag about the times I fought off an assailant but now I can't help thinking about what could have happened had I not succeeded. Yet if I were to get into that, I get ignored, trolled, told to shut up. I'm happy to see I'm not the only one.<br />
I'm actually relieved women are speaking out. I was once a struggling actress and I was always afraid of the casting couch. Its one of the reasons I didn't pursue acting. I'm glad they got rid of that, for the sake of future generations who have similar dreams. I'm actually really grateful for this movement.<br />
Just, to set the record straight, sexual assault is not the same thing as complimenting a woman or telling a dirty joke. Grabbing a woman by the pussy at work, without her consent is not the same as being afraid of saying the wrong thing. If you can't see the difference, you're an idiot and nothing I say can get you to understand so I'll just leave it at that.<br />
<br />
<b>On Natural Disasters</b>: I'm not going to list all the hurricanes, earthquakes, fires etc. but it seemed that there was no respite from disasters of biblical proportions. There were so many funds and charities and just when you give to one, there's another disaster. I'm lucky I wasn't affected, at least not that much. It really puts things in perspective. Who are we to complain about adulting when there are people out there who are dying and losing their homes? And when I say "adulting" I'm referring to those who complain about having to be responsible and act like an adult. If that's the worst of your problems, you have it pretty easy.<br />
<br />
<b>Did Any Good Come From This?</b> I'm always glad when a year is over but its not like it all ends abruptly, like some kind of parallel universe shift. The same issues usually continue into the next year or even the next. <br />
If anything, I do take the time at the end of the year to make resolutions and reflect on my life. If I don't, I become one of those unhappy people, stuck in a rut who think they have no control over their lives. Life goes on. I helped a lot of people in my day job. My family is still in tact despite all the craziness going on in the world and for that I must be grateful. <br />
There will always be social unrest and acts of nature. Life is unpredictable, except for death and taxes. We know its short. We know bad stuff will happen so we have to enjoy the sunsets when we can. Stop and watch the dew settle on a flower every once and a while. Somehow, noticing these little things makes the other stuff seem smaller too. <br />
Life is short. Be bold. Be crazy. Kick ass if you have to but don't forget that love is still the most important thing.<br />
<br />
This photo was taken in the middle of an ugly city. Thank God for blossoms. :)<br />
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-29448142614187576812017-09-05T22:22:00.003-07:002017-09-05T22:22:33.865-07:00The Night I Took the Knife<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I can't say I was depressed or suicidal. I was actually excited but I was suffering from sleep deprivation and I was quite overworked. I had left home and family and embarked on something most of my friends didn't have the courage or money to do. I didn't have the money to do it either but I figured I was young and didn't need sleep, so I could work in what little spare time I had.<br />
<br />
Yet, there was something about that night. It's as if I felt my past and future all at once. I felt bad for abandoning everyone I knew to embark on my adventure and I knew I would make mistakes in the future because I knew I was psychologically broken, which is probably why the life of an artist seemed to fit so well at the time. I felt sorry for everything, for having to be so different and leave everything behind. It was probably the loneliest night of my life. I was in this tiny little Manhattan apartment and my roommate just moved in with someone else. I was holding my favorite pocket knife and found it coming up towards my neck.<br />
<br />
That's when she appeared. She was me from the future and she knew what I had done and what I would still do. It were as if she was warning me. She knew I could never be exactly the way other people wanted me to be and at first, it made me hate myself more. I was so scared that I would keep fucking up. She knew I would but I wished I could avoid it all. For that moment in time, I didn't want to be her. For a moment all this regret over everything I had and would screw up came over me.<br />
<br />
Then another me appeared, one from even farther off in the future, a much older version of me. And she just looked at me, telepathically telling me that I shouldn't change a thing. She said that I would go on an amazing adventure, and just like a story book character, I would make mistakes and things would happen that I hadn't planned for but that all of those things would make me who I am. She said that if I changed anything, I wouldn't end up being the awesome person she turned out to be, and really, I was already awesome, just feeling a bit sorry for myself for a moment. But she knew I knew that and that I always knew it because I was the one who chose this adventure and if I wanted life to be easy and simple, I wouldn't have done it.<br />
<br />
I put the knife down, got up the next day determined to do what I set out to do, open to whatever came my way. I knew that life could be messy, and if it were one blissful Prozac dream without any guilt, fear or anger, it would hardly be life. I would have ups and downs but I would get through it. It helps that I wanted to be a writer. It helps to know what great stories are made of and to see the big picture.<br />
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I think back to that night a lot and it makes me strangely calm, seeing myself from the past, present and future and knowing that no matter how much I change, I'll still always be me.<br />
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The awesome illustration comes from the from the The Four Swords Theater. I must check out one of their shows next time I'm in that part of the world. http://four-of-swords.com/</div>
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-192947603163400522017-04-08T22:08:00.000-07:002017-04-08T22:08:08.182-07:00When Words Become Unnecessary<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Ludwig Wittgenstein once said, "most of the propositions and questions of philosophers arise from our failure to understand the logic of our language and it is not surprising that the deepest problems are, in fact, not problems at all."<br />
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So I've been pondering "semantics" as many online like to call it or just the problem with the fact that words mean different things to different people. I think that my obsession with wanting to be a good writer in my youth came out of my frustration of not being able to really explain things I knew and understood intuitively. Yet unless we can express ourselves clearly, there is no respect. Plus we have the issue of people interpreting words differently depending on their education. A Freudian scholar would look at the word "ego" very differently from a Buddhist Priest, and some words just resonate differently with people emotionally. You can argue over semantics all you want but if a word is just upsetting, its best just not to use it.<br />
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I mention how some words are used as society's "hackers" in my blog:<br />
<a href="http://laceyreah.blogspot.com/search?q=hacking+society" target="_blank">Hacking Into Society's Code</a><br />
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I know I'm not the only one who has used the internet as a means to practice how to express complicated issues using the proper words but there's a point where it all gets old, all this constant communicating. Perhaps this is why I've taken a much needed break from social networking lately.<br />
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As I mature, I'm starting to not be as obsessed with explaining things with words. Subtle actions seem to make a huge difference. The writer in me still wants to put in my two cents but I'm learning that too many words can be harmful when making a point. I'm learning to understand people even if they didn't use the perfect word. I'm learning to look at the context more than the semantics. I'm learning to see the actions over the words which often lie; and I'm learning that I don't always have to explain myself to people nor do they have to explain themselves to me.<br />
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I'm learning to not get as offended if people don't understand me the way I thought they would when I carefully chose my words. I can't expect everyone to be like me. I've pretty much decided that if someone understands me enough to put up with my weirdness, that's good enough and for those who don't understand, there's no point in wasting my time trying to sway them with words. <br />
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I'm also learning that its not a competition and not everything is a debate. Its not about how brilliant I can sound to someone. Maybe I'll be a better communicator if I just shut up and listened to people's story without needing to put in my two cents. This is difficult coming from my wise ass self but I'm working on it. I'm sure it will be a constant karmic struggle in this life.<br />
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Looking back, some of the most painful times in my life came from listening to words, words like blades tearing into my soul. Some of my most peaceful moments come from silence, or from witnessing acts of affection done in silence. ;)<br />
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To quote Depeche Mode:<br />
Words are very unnecessary<br />
They can only do harm<br />
Vows are spoken<br />
To be broken<br />
Feelings are intense<br />
Words are trivial<br />
Pleasures remain<br />
So does the pain<br />
Words are meaningless<br />
And forgettable<br />
All I ever wanted<br />
All I ever needed<br />
Is here in my arms<br />
Words are very unnecessary<br />
They can only do harm</div>
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"Words words words" --Hamlet</div>
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-87090688978451798462017-01-01T10:18:00.002-08:002017-01-01T10:43:39.810-08:00How to Get Around a Biased Media<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The media is biased. This is something I've heard a lot of people complain about of late. This is something I always knew. When I took journalism in college, the first thing my professors taught me was that the "news" is sensational. Its not about publishing what's fair and making sure everyone knows every little thing that has gone on. Its about publishing what is unusual, the type of things that you don't see day in and day out. If cars are stolen all the time, publishing a report about it won't make the local paper but if someone stole a cop car, went on a 289 mile joy ride at 150 miles per hour, closing down all of our freeways, thus thwarting plans for the president to visit the city, which ends in a show down and the death of three cops and a 2 year old bystander, that's news. At least, its news unless something more interesting happened in the same day. The media's job, just like anyone else's job is to sell headlines, get people's interest and make people watch or read what they deem is interesting.<br />
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People get shot all the time but if a cop gets shot, that's bigger news. If someone is caught on tape doing or saying something shocking or offensive, that's an instant seller. A video of cops beating up a man for no reason is gold. A video of a politician caught on tape bragging about sexual assault is bound to get the attention of every media outlet out there, much more than him stating that he gave to a particular charity. All politicians give to charity so that wouldn't make the news.<br />
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Unfortunately, if there is an interesting day or week, something you thought should make the news won't. Maybe there was a huge protest that you saw or participated in but it didn't make the news because there was an airplane crash and that is a much bigger story. Maybe you were swindled by a parking cop or someone stole your identity. You want the media to hear your story but it never made the news because there was an attempted assassination on the President.<br />
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That being said, the news is obviously biased. Everyone is biased. There is no such thing as objectivity. My novel, "The Enlightened Ones" was written in third person through the eyes of many characters specifically to show the reader how impossible it would be for any media outlet to get the gist of what really happened. Everyone's story is so different that there is no real objective source of news. One person might see one side of a story and completely miss another. If you want a really good idea of what is going on in the world, the media is a very poor source, so stop expecting it to satisfy your need for truth. Turn off the news and stop blaming the media for not giving you what you want to hear. There are other sources to help us understand what is going on in the world and here they are:<br />
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<b>Books:</b><br />
One day I was having a religious discussion with someone about Buddhism and it confused me so much that I finally just borrowed an Oxford lecture by a professor of theology on the entire history of Buddhism. This same thing happened with a friend of mine who was Hindu and was discussing yoga. I realized how little I knew about his culture so I borrowed another 10 hour lecture on the history of Hinduism. Getting such a comprehensive understanding opened my eyes so much that I didn't have to ask anymore questions. And let me just say, there is soooooooo much more to these religions than what we think we know and what we don't know, only hurts us.<br />
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There was a time when I was so confused about the terrorist situation and what was happening in the middle east that I borrowed several books on the history of the middle east, the history of America's role in the middle east and I also read the novels "The Kite Runner" and "A Thousand Splendid Suns" which explains the history of Afghanistan in a much more interesting way than any non fiction book. After this, I gained more clarity about the situation than watching the news ever could. The news only told me what was happening that day, assuming I already know the decades of history that lead up to that moment. A snippet of news is not enough to help us understand anything so if you really want a good source of subjective truth, you have to investigate for yourself.<br />
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<b>Ask Professionals or Experts:</b><br />
The mainstream media is one of the worst places to get information on health or science. These articles are written by journalists, not experts. They write what they research but they lack the scientific background to understand a study or current finding. Often, they write what is sensational or contradictory to what is the general consensus. For example, if meta analysis (a way of taking many scientific studies in one study and analyzing their efficacy) shows that smoking is, say bad for circulation and suddenly a contradictory study that shows the opposite is released, you'll hear about the one contradictory study. Why? Because that is sensationalistic. That goes against what the thousand other studies concluded. It often doesn't matter how accurate the controls of that study were. Most journalist aren't educated enough in a particular branch of science to know what types of measuring tools work better than others. You won't hear about the many contradictory studies that might have been conducted more thoroughly and if an academic expert speaks up against it, it just causes more controversy which will make more news. Dr. Oz once caused an unnecessary scare that apple juice could kill you despite the fact that most other doctors will say that his logic is sensationalistic and isn't based on real science, just from the fact that there's some cyanide in apple seeds, but not nearly enough to kill anyone. The news thrives on what scares the public because what is scary sells headlines, that doesn't mean its the best news so check with a real doctor if you're worried about medicine. In fact, some studies have shown that you're better off reading the blog of an expert than any mainstream news dealing with science or health, and don't take the advice of some celebrity about your health just because they made the news. You're much better off learning from someone who has made a living off of helping people in the field and has genuine experience in the subject than from someone who is just trying to get attention and sell ratings.<br />
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<b>Check Your Source:</b><br />
We have more opportunities now than ever to get accurate news. Experts now have blogs and there are journals online you can subscribe too on any subject of your interest but check your source. Is the author a true expert? Do they have experience in the field? Do they have a degree or appropriate accreditation in the subject they are tackling? If they have left no source, then you know they are an amateur. Check the journals and studies they site. I always do. If they add footnotes and extra books, here's your chance to learn more. if they quote someone's twitter, its so easy to go on twitter to see if that quote was real. If there is controversy over a speech, I just go and find a recording of the speech so I know exactly what was said. You can't take gossip at face value, so check your source to the best of your ability and with search engines such as google available, this is getting easier and easier.<br />
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<b>Get a Life:</b><br />
There is something frightening about hearing someone complain about the news day in and night, as if they spend every waking hour, looking for news sources. Much of how I see the word isn't based on what I see on the news but what I've learned in my education, my accreditation in my field and what I experience in real life. I've lived in many places and have seen many things. I also open myself up to people. I like to hear what they have to say. What's their story? I love talking to older people who have lived through wars and many economic cycles. They tell me stories that you can't get in the news. I used to take long walks in the city and see demonstrations and protests. I'd talk to strangers and sometimes witness crimes and strange behaviors from the cops. Much of my view of the world comes from what I've seen and heard, more than what I hear in the media which is always a secondary source. Please don't hide behind a secondary source. Go out and talk to people. Do some research for yourself. Make friends outside of your religion or political affiliation and treat them with respect so they aren't afraid to show you their perspective. Get out in the trenches and get involved in a charity you believe in, demonstrate or go to a protest that is important to you. Show up to a neighborhood council meeting and find out what people are talking about and what they care about first hand.You will get a much more objective view of the world when you open yourself up to it and stop hiding in your comfort zone. These days, they are even setting up social networking to coincide with these meetings so people can participate even if they are busy and can't make it to the location.<br />
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<b>Take Time to Reflect:</b><br />
This is important. Turn off everything. Put down the books and let your mind wander. You may find that your instincts and even your rational thoughts will notice what doesn't seem right and this will help you ask more questions and follow up with more intentional research which sure beats watching the same hypnotizing propaganda over and over again. This will also give you time to rest your mind and emotions so you don't get overwhelmed. It will help you come to terms with your own values and how you fit into all of this nonsense. It might even help you find a purpose and inspire you to realize what is most important to you and how you can contribute to your community and your world. <br />
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<b>A Little Learning is a Dangerous Thing</b><br />
In conclusion, what I'm offering might seem like a lot but if you turn off the news and ignore the shallow memes, this affords you more time for deep reading and investigation. It will also make you a more satisfied and happier person. The shallow media will always leave you unsatisfied if real information is what you want and usually a little learning gives us a false sense of reality. Yet, there's this sense of insecurity because we know something's not right so don't waste your time on it. As Henry Thorough famously said, "Suck the marrow out of life." <br />
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-48889587067586517372016-11-29T21:28:00.000-08:002016-11-29T21:28:10.579-08:00Identity, Labels and the Search for No Self<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">Someone was telling me about how their new psychologist talked to their kid. She asked him how he identifies himself. The child didn't know what the psychologist was talking about so she asked him what race he identified himself with.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I marveled at our obsession, here in the U.S,. to create an identity for one's self. I once read that it has to do with the evolution of the economy. If you live in a society where most people are getting enough food and shelter, the only way to get them to spend more and stimulate the economy is to create an economy of identity. People who identify themselves as Star Wars lovers will buy more Star Wars toys. Those who identify themselves as dog lovers, will buy more dog paraphernalia and so on and so forth. In fact, marketing experts specifically count on us to have an identity. They create demographics such as "working mom over the age of 40" and make ads geared specifically to that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">There has been so much talk of identity lately and its seeped into our politics. I wonder if it is a subconscious reaction to all of the identity based marketing that has been geared to us and all the child pscyologists who have insisted that children figure out what they identify with. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We are almost forgetting that there is more to life than having an identity. The Buddhists spend their lives practicing what is known as the art of "no self." Their whole philopshy is based on relinquishing identity. I onced asked a friend of mine who is a Buddhist monk why Buddhists don't believe in identity or a self and he said that believing in this holds us back. Having a self puts boundaries on what we could learn or what more we could be. You can't be enlightened if you are attached to the notion of having to find a self. I always marvel at how Buddhism became the "religion of no religion," and even if I studied Buddhism extensively, I could never call myself a Buddhist because to do so would be to identify with something. This just goes to show how difficult it is to relinquish one's identity. Famous motivational speaker Anthony Robbins is always talking about how you have to change your identity. He says that if you see yourself as a helpless victim, you always will be. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Beyond that, I can't help thinking that there is so much more to us than our demographic. I'm not just a working mother over the age of forty. I'm more than a writer. I'm more than my hobbies, my political or cultural affiliations etc. The other day, I was looking through my social networking stream and thought, There are an awful lot of memes and posts that are anti something or another. I've seen posts that are anti Israel, anti Palestine, anti liberal, anti conservative, anti Clinton, anti Trump, anti religion, anti atheist, anti science, etc. etc. These anti statements tend to come with very generalizing and often fallacious stereotypes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In the 70s there was a huge anti disco movement on the part of those who loved heavy metal. It became cool to identify with heavy metal but only if you hated on disco. Lord forbid someone loved both styes of music. It became very apparent to me that finding one's identity can be dangerously polarizing. If I am this way, I am separate from anyone who isn't this way as well. We box ourselves into our own little groups and push away those who "don't get it." </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We see this in the publishing business as well. You're book must identify with a genre because we have to make sure that the public is getting what they want. All romances must have a happy ending. Lord forbid we surprise anyone and make them question their identity. Screw all the great artists and writers who thought this was the goal of literature and art. In our effort to categorize our literature, we have suppressed people from writing something truly original. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We forget that most spiritual philosophies think that the highest state of awareness is to connect, not to polarized, to love, not to hate. Finding one's identity is an act of desperation, a way of finding a place to belong in a lonely world. But the search for no self, is an act of pure humility. It also takes courage to let go of the security that clinging to an identity can have. As I have demonstrated in my novel, "The Enlightened Ones," sometimes we wake up and realize that everything we have clung to was wrong. Our identities give us a sense of security, but often its a false sense of security, one we're willing to kill for. This is why the art of no self takes courage. It means that we have to look outside of who we think we are and see who we really are. It means we have to shatter down the walls of our own perception and accept the fact that we could be wrong. It might even mean relinquishing the stubbornness of war for the humility of peace. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The other day, a friend of mine posted the song "Imagine" by John Lennon. He wrote something about how more veterans agree with the song than we may care to think. In the song, John Lennon sings, Imagine there's no countries, religion, possessions, etc. He said there would be nothing to fight for, nothing to live or die for, nothing to hunger for etc. Some might listen to this song and think that Lennon is being intolorent of religion or patriotism. Perhaps he's putting down our materialistic economy. But perhaps what my friend was hinting at was that after being in a war and watching people fight and kill over their country, religion, stuff, or identity, you realize how silly it all was in the end. You wonder how important it was for us to cling to an identity as if any threat to it is worth killing for. Is it really worth killing for? How important is identity, really? I will have to ask my friend to elaborate.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So what if we do stop identifying? What if we put our strong held beliefs aside and say, I'll listen because I'm not so scared that what you have to say will change me. What if we embrace other groups and cultures? What if we stop trying to find a national cultural identity and instead ask ourselves what is the best choice for all of the country in today's ever changing world? Wouldn't that open us up to more solutions and resources? What if we stepped back and started accepting everyone, not just those who we identify with? What if we saw all life as equally important? It would shatter our shields. It would make us stop fighting for what is best for us and start sharing with others. It would evolve us from being two year olds in the "mine" stage to being something truly transcendent. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Of course, many have told me that they're not ready for that kind of higher thinking. John Lennon said, "you may say I'm a dreamer." Many would say that he is because he did have a lot of material possessions and he wasn't exactly the best father. We're all hypocrites. We're all flawed, and we have to accept that and question ourselves always. Sometimes we just have to remind ourselves that there's so much more to the universe than our identity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, I'll leave with this thought. Why is it that the greatest love stories consist of lovers who fall in love with someone who's supposed to be an enemy or someone from the other side of the tracks? Perhaps something deep inside us does want to transcend above the boundaries of our identity or we wouldn't love these stories. Although we are so obsessed with finding our identity, there may just be something else deep within us that wishes to seek love somewhere beyond it. Perhaps all of this seeking to belong has just made us feel more trapped by the conventions of such belonging.</span><br />
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-43511229852779313532016-11-19T21:03:00.002-08:002016-11-19T22:17:24.428-08:00Why Discrimination is a Big Deal<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">When I was attending a conservatory in New York, I was so busy working to pay my way through school that I barely had time to socialize. I also lived an hour and a half away from the city, but one day, my roommates and I decided to join the regulars at their regular bar. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">It didn't really work out because they wouldn't serve my two roommates. There were all kinds of issues, but in the end, we concluded that it was because they were black. I left with them but everyone else stayed. Our other white roommate didn't see what the big deal was. She said it was the only chance she had to hang out with them. That was more important to her. I understand that discrimination isn't as important of an issue to some as it is for me but the thought of patronizing that bar sickened me.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">When I worked as an office manager at a recruiting firm, I remember recruiter's straight say to me, "my client won't hire that person because he doesn't like blacks or middle easterners." This happened often. Even though it goes against the 14th amendment, it still happened and no one batted an eye. Yet, being one of those people who despise racism, I held my tongue and took my anger out on a log of "office racism" which is stored in some floppy drive somewhere. I don't work there anymore. I may post this log one day, if I ever get to finding it.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">Recently, the issue of race relations, discrimination against women and negative stereotyping against Latin American and Muslim immigrants and even any immigrant not of European decent has been brought up. There have also been a handful of bloggers who have said, "what's the big deal? Its not that bad." I've heard this many times in my life from people who have accepted that discrimination is a fact of life. There are always those who will try to segregate, insult and keep down anyone who is different. So what's wrong with me? I had to look at myself and ask, "am I wrong to think that discrimination is wrong? Is it a big deal?"</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">I'm reminded of a passage I once read in Ghandi's autobiography where he was segregated from being able to ride in the nicer part of a ship because he was dark skinned. This was when he was in South Africa. He was so appalled by this and ended up doing a lot of work in South Africa to help end segregation. However, the first reaction his friends had was, "its okay. That's the way things are here. Its their culture. What's the big deal?" Still, Ghandi didn't back down. He started huge social movements to end inequality and is credited with freeing India from England without having to go into war. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">When Rosa Parks refused to sit in the colored part of the bus because she was black, everyone kept telling her, "What's the big deal? Why don't you just accept your place and sit where you belong?" The thing is, sometimes it is a big deal. There will always be a tipping point where people who are oppressed just because they look different will rise up. History has proven this time and again. Had Martin Luther King Jr. not started a civil rights movement, very similar to what he learned </span><span style="font-size: 13px;">from Ghandi</span><span style="font-size: 13px;">, a civil war between blacks and whites in the United States was eminent. Already, riots were breaking out all over the country over civil rights and the war. Members of other black organizations such as The Black Panthers were gearing up for all out war. White supremacists such as the KKK were doing the same thing from their side. But MLK's</span><span style="font-size: 13px;"> movement, like Ghandi's </span><span style="font-size: 13px;">movement managed to overturn </span></span><span style="font-size: 13px;">segregation without starting a civil war which would have devastated this nation.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">Yet, what if civil war didn't break out? Overtime creating a culture of hate towards a particular race, whether they rise up or not will lead to no peace. Look at the Holocaust and the atrocities enacted by German Nazis when Hitler declared that the Jews were no good. He appealed to the country's suspicions against the religious minority who immigrated to Germany, looking for peace. This focus on hating who is different lead to a great war to wipe out Jews and anyone who was "not like them." The most destructive and horrific world war in history got started because a man who's slogan was "Make Germany great again" decided to lead a country by focusing on people's natural fear and hatred of those who were different.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">When the founding fathers of this country decided to withdraw from English rule, they wrote in the Declaration of Independence that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">The founding fathers made equality and fairness the main function of our government and ingeniously set it up in order to make America safe from laws and leaders that would pass laws which favor inequality.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">The sad thing is that many laws that go against this fairness and against our very Bill of Rights and Constitution have been voted in by the people. This is no surprise as discrimination is not uncommon. If it weren't part of human nature, it wouldn't exist but over time, many of these laws have been shut down by the supreme court due to them being unconstitutional and dangerous to everyone's equal right to the pursuit of happiness. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">One of these laws was the search and seizure law which was passed in New York after 9/11, making it okay to do random searches on anyone without a warrant. While some people felt the law kept them safe, what it did was target innocent Blacks and Latinos. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">Also, this law goes against the sixth article of the our county's Bill of Rights:</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">The right of the People to be secure in their persons, houses, papers and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no </span></span><span style="font-size: 13px;">warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">Eventually, the law was put down by the courts, but this didn't stop Donald Trump for stating that this law is what we need to enforce on the inner cities when asked, during the debate, how he would improve race relations. Already, relations with cops in the inner cities are mired due to unreasonable searches and excessive force. Riots and shootings have already broken out because of it. How would passing this law, which goes against our bill of rights and constitution, help create peace? It would only increase the civil unrest that is already happening. It's a discriminatory law that will hurt this country. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">When I moved this country, I was put in public schools or the first time. I was in Catholic school up until then. I was very surprised to learn that there were other religions and I was honored to go to school with people who shared different cultures. I had so many questions for the Jews, Muslims, Protestants etc. I was open and wanted to learn. I made friends with people of many religion and ethnic diversities. My parents are not white but they are citizens of this country and are college educated. My father is a true American who always talks about and believes in the precepts of this country. He carries a pocket copy of the constitution with him at all times. Both my parents pay their taxes and have been very active in their community as I have as well. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">When I read blogs from people and read tweets by Donald Trump saying things like ALL immigrants are morally debase, rapists, criminals or whore out their daughters, I'm appalled. My Dad didn't even let me date till I was eighteen. People always say, "oh no, I wasn't talking about you." But they were. I'm an immigrant and they said ALL immigrants. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">Trump has tweeted that most criminals are Black or Hispanic. This is not true. I have so many good friends who are black and Latino who have never broken the law. I know people who are not black and Latino that have been in jail for criminal activity. Similarly, there are many blacks and Latinos who have been falsely put in jail just because of the color of their skin. Can we please look past our superficial need to profile and stereotype people and give everyone their constitutional right to pursue life, liberty and happiness and to remain innocent until proven guilty?</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">To quote the constitution:</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">I know that discrimination is popular, that many laws have been voted in by the people that do discriminate. The Gay Marriage law is one of them and I spoke out against the law. In fact, after I released my blog opposing the law (which also got me kicked off Facebook) it was taken to court and deemed unconstitutional. You can read the blog here:</span></span><br />
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<a href="http://laceyreah.blogspot.com/2012/01/why-gay-marriage-is-civil-right.html" target="_blank">Why Same Sex Marriage is a Civil Right</a></h3>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">By speaking out, I'm protecting my little utopia. I live in a city where people of all ethnicity's get along. I'm often invited to events in other churches, temples and mosques. I once had a cab driver tell me how weird and wonderful it is that he is best friends with someone who should be his enemy if he were back in his old country. When people speak foul towards gays, women, immigrants, blacks or other religions, they're speaking foul about my friends and family. Such talk spews hate, hurt feelings, thoughts of war and violence where there was once love, openness and solidarity. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">Discrimination is a big deal, because war and hatred is a big deal. Preventing laws that go against our inalienable rights is our way of keeping peace in our world before things get out of hand.</span></span><br />
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-66580052994806060712016-09-16T22:55:00.000-07:002016-09-17T08:55:29.816-07:00The Odds of Finding True Love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My mum once told me that finding a good husband is like winning the lotto. I started breaking down the odds in my head and she's pretty much right.<br />
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The first thing you have to sort out is if you are attracted to someone who is also attracted to you. 90% of the time you like him more than she likes you or vice versa. Then when you do find that 10% who feel the same way, you have to sort through other factors. You may be attracted to each other but do your personalities get along? Is that person already taken? Are they trustworthy?<br />
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You might find some amazing attraction to a very magnetic serial killer. Ted Bundy was a very attractive man who could get any woman he wanted. I know many women who thought they found their dream man, but after marrying him, they realized they entered into an abusive relationship and vice versa.<br />
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If you do find someone who isn't already spoken for, who is just as attracted to you as you are to him and she is trustworthy, you have to see if he actually satisfies you in bed.<br />
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And after you finally found all of these things in a person, there's the whole commitment thing, which I guess boils down to her feeling the same way about relationships as you. If you're polyamorous and he's monogamous it won't work out. If you want ten kids and she doesn't want any, it won't work out. Then you have to wonder if he can even live with you because you can be very attracted to someone, have great chemistry with her, want the same things out of life, and have great sex and still have days when you just can't stand to live with each other for some reason or another. Maybe you're OCD and he's a hoarder. The odds just get slimmer and slimmer.<br />
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But here's the thing: if you do find someone who matches all of the above, you're a fool if you don't hold on to her and never let him go. So many things can still get in the way, like our own insecurities, doubts or faults. If this is so, you better get yourself to a therapist and work that stuff out. Don't let the way you feel about your mother or father or whoever else in your past get in the way of something as rare as true love. But that's just something else that gets in the way of it all, ourselves.<br />
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The odds are so astronomical.<br />
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I suppose this is why so many relationships don't last. Its so easy to ruin a good thing and so hard to find it in the first place.<br />
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Looking on the bright side, I guess many do find true love despite the odds, which is a miracle in itself.<br />
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-19608424648551037662016-08-28T14:57:00.001-07:002016-08-28T15:03:31.093-07:00Who am I to Beleive I Can See Outside The Realms of my Limited Perception?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I was taking a nice, calm ride in my car on a Sunday morning and I started pondering the limits of our senses. I was looking at some optical illusions earlier and it amazed me how some shading and other tricks can make us see things that aren't there or completely miss things that are. Plus there are many studies show that if we are likely to completely ignore certain visual cues if not introduced to us at certain developmental stages of our childhood. We are so limited to our experiences and therefore, in our thinking and philosophy. <br />
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Then I started thinking that maybe everything I experience in the outside world is all just a part of me, much like what seems real in a dream is just our imagination running wild in our sleep. I was thinking all the people I know are just extension of my own psyche and it occurred to me that even those who have treated me wrongly are only parts of my psyche I haven't comes to terms with yet.<br />
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It make sound like a self centered theory, to think that the whole universe revolves around me and after all my blogging about how we're not the center of the universe. But what's so selfless about thinking that we're separate from each other? I think I'm more likely to act with compassion towards others and the environment if I think of everyone and everything as a part of myself. I can comprehend it being differently but truly, my mind isn't capable of seeing passed that. All my experiences are just limited sensory responses occurring within the boundaries of my mind's operating system.<br />
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-13829496336823871772016-08-28T14:26:00.001-07:002016-08-28T14:26:16.914-07:00Random Deep Thoughts on Humanity, Cruelty and Humility<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">I was riding in the car, trying to find some music to listen to and it occurred to me how strange it is that we have this need to listen to patterns and rhythms and how this seems to be an innate human condition. Then I recalled the fact that birds also make beautiful music. Then I recalled a study that found that plants grow better when played soothing music too and realized that plants too have this innate need. If our need for music is a recognition of patterns and mathematics, I suppose it is a sign of our ability to think logically. Yet if birds and plants also recognize such patterns, they too must be highly logical. In fact birds such as crows and ravens have a rich vocabulary of their own. So how foolish is any human to assume that we are the only sentient beings on earth just because we don't understand the language of other animals? The more we learn about our universe, the more we realize that we are not in the center of it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So I was listening to an anthropologist explain why he sided with the theory that humans killed all of the large ice age animals. After all, they died out after the great migrations, after humans came to their lands, and their fossil remains have spears in their ribs. Plus, those animals survived many other ice ages where the temperatures changed drastically. (Yes I'm a nerd) Basically most animals were quite tame then. If you go to the Galapagos islands, you'll see just how tame animals were in an island where no humans existed. You can walk right up to them and they won't run or scatter. We basically killed all tame animals. If not, we made them into farm animals. To this day, we're still making animals extinct. We are not only the top of the food chain, we are the most savage beast that ever lived. We have wiped out thousands or more species of animals and plants since we appeared on this earth. Yet we have the gall to call someone who we think is a brute, an animal? We are the true savages.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">With all this talk about how children are innocent and have to be taught hatred, I happen to know that there is a natural part of many of us that is vengeful, dominating and determined to survive even if that means destruction of something else. We are capable of great sympathy and also great cruelty and the only thing that can stop us from allowing the cruelty to take over is to admit that we are capable of it. Often the cruelest sects of humanity are the ones that judge others for their cruelty and refuse to admit that they too can be cruel. I think this is why I tend towards philosophy. A person who thinks knows that they can be wrong. One who is dedicated to learning and mental growth is not set in the idea of always being right and trying to dominate all who are "wrong." Learning has taught me to question my current belief and compassion has made me realize that I too am capable of hurting others. We all need to take pause if we are to stop ourselves from destroying ourselves</span><br />
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-90222904488531342692016-02-19T20:51:00.001-08:002016-02-19T20:51:40.974-08:00The Point of No Return<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">This subject came to mind after reading some posts, the subject of the point of no return. This was a concept that was first introduced by General Sun Tzu in "The Art of War." The idea is how to get human troops to make the ultimate sacrifice without retreat. He said to lead them so far into battle that to retreat would take as much or more energy than to move on and fight. I've used this in my life a few times, mostly in my youth like when I left home to go find myself. I burned my bridges and made it harder to go back than to go forward. This helped me become a new person and tear myself away from psychological fears that kept me back.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Though these days, I find I always have something to fall back on. Adulthood and parenting makes us crave security and our fears become our armor. After all, those who retreat are more likely to survive, just not likely to feel any glory or greatness. Still, as much as advise people not to burn their bridges, there is a distinct advantage to doing so.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #404040; font-family: roboto, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">Sometimes you </span></span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: "roboto", "arial", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">have</span></span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: roboto, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;"> to quit that job and even tell your boss to fuck off so you know you'll never fall back on it. I've seen some people always go back to their old safety nets, making it a great excuse to give up attempts to go elsewhere; but if you cut that net, you just can't do that. You have to keep moving forward. There's also a strange lift, like another option you don't have to stress over, another burden or life you don't have to be anymore.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #404040; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">You'll hear stories of people selling their souls, musicians who signed contracts they never should have, losing money and having the nerve to move on. Yet if they didn't make that first sacrifice, that all or nothing deal, they would still be home, living a </span></span></span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">cushiony life, their dreams far off in the distance. That five year contract you sign may seem like forever, but once you've served your time, you have the world at your feet. You'll know things you would never had known if you had a loop hole of escape. But you have to commit to this new life and that's the bottom line. Change is hard and even though we want to, many of us won't change unless we absolutely have to. We'll stay in unhappy jobs and marriages. We'll watch our dreams disappear into the distance while we hang on to our life rafts but we won't burn our bridges. We'll always go back to the cushion of our past, no matter how disfunctional it might be, its home. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">When the thought of staying the same overcomes the fear of change, we light that fire and watch the past crumble away. Sometimes our minds regret it but our gut emotions are too strong. We have to grow, we have to let go, we have to look forward to who we'll become. And sometimes, after the battle has been won or lost, we find that somewhere in those burnt ashes of the past--after the new vines grow over the old ruins--there is something left for us to go back to after all, but when we do, we know ourselves just a little bit better.</span></span><br />
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-90242438225251250032016-01-24T13:28:00.000-08:002016-01-24T14:11:07.146-08:00The Writing Cure<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I finally started reading the book, "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman after hearing it being referenced to so many times. I was moved by studies that showed that writing down traumatic events can cure PTSD. At first we might write some horribly negative stuff, but after some time, we start to rationalize it and work through it. This made me look back at my own life and the traumas and challenges I have suffered in the past. With all the negative things that could have messed me up, I was lucky to have parents who encouraged the love of reading and who let me read whatever I wanted. This love of reading anything, be they horror stories, banned books, comic books or classics fostered an enjoyment for literature and an enjoyment for the act of writing. So when the shit hit the fan, when I had to move several times, deal with abuse, puberty, poverty and many other things I don't feel comfortable going into detail about; my main way of dealing with it was to write.<br />
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While my friends did drugs, to self medicate, I wrote. Looking back, I remember feelings of depression, anxiety, anger and hopelessness but instead of self destruction or medication, I always turned to writing and I do believe that is what has saved my life. I wrote poems, plays and stories. I told my diary she was my best friend and used to miss her terribly if I didn't get to confide in her. She was something I could trust, something that would never judge me harshly. Through her, I could vent my anger, be nostalgic and throw out ideas good or bad. I could create worlds of escape, find solutions no one else could think of, and move through trains of thought that led me back to sanity. I could scribble till my mind went numb, write down affirmations or shout out prayers in capital letters. I could set goals, make wishes, weave dreams and learn to forgive and love myself.<br />
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My advice to anyone who wants to take up writing is to write anything, anything at all. Don't censor yourself. Let your writing be unconditional and if you know someone who is a writer, respect their boundaries. Don't be jealous of their diaries and don't read them. You wouldn't force their therapist to tell you things that was meant to be held in confidence. If you don't like what they write, understand that you will never understand some things. They might write something overtly sexual to help deal with issues of sexuality they have. They might write something disturbingly scary to help deal with a traumatic event they witnessed when they were young. They may write about an ex lover to help themselves figure out how to be a better lover in the present or future. They may write about politics or religion to help deal with their own confusion about society or metaphysics. You can never know why they write, if its made up, an exaggeration or satire. They may write whole novels that completely befuddle you but it helped them let go of something.<br />
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There are billions of books, stories, poems, plays and all of them came from a great mind just trying to find sanity. Hopefully, as we share our creations, we'll help others find theirs.<br />
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-46440828431487303752016-01-10T13:05:00.002-08:002016-01-10T13:05:46.722-08:00Time Travel and Transcending Time and Space with the Mind<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Black holes have been a fascination for me since I was a little girl, enjoying books such as Samuel DeLany's "Nova" and movies such as "Event Horizon." The movie "Interstellar" really blew my mind, employing the latest optimistic ideas of black holes as proposed by expansive modern cosmologists.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Its actually the notion of time travel, alternate universes and relativity that fascinates me, having had some vivid and specific dreams come true, I've had an dark obsession with the idea. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I believe there are universes in our minds, black holes and singularities in our psyche where all known rules don't apply. There are quantum particles, radiation, imaginary time, relative time and places where the past, present and future happen all at once.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Recently, I think I've come to terms with my musings on time travel, realizing that time is just an illusion and the present moment is all that matters and all that really exists. I've also come to the conclusion that anything could happen and if the future is uncertain and we are jumping from one probabilistic future after another, grace can only be obtained by finding ease in every situation and not by testing our power to see what we can and can't change. No matter what paralell universe I'm in, the real question should be, did I live it to the fullest or did I spend all my time wishing I was in another parallel universe?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">If I ended up with someone else fifteen years ago, would life be better? Would I have different children or would I be alone? Would I love them as much as I do the ones I have now? Of course I would. I wouldn't know about the alternate reality I am in right now. What if I chose a different career path? Who knows where I'd be now. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">This is when knowing about every choice and every probability that could ever exist in our lives can lead to nothing but drama and suffering. I'm starting to realize that true maturity comes from learning to be happy with whatever choice I make and whatever time and space I happen to encapsulate.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Once we realize that time is an illusion and that the present is the only moment that exists, the idea of changing the past and future becomes absurd. When one realizes this, one is enlightened. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #404040;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: roboto, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">Only someone who has great control of their mental faculties could possibly use his/her mind to time travel. By then it wouldn't matter because what does changing the past or future matter to one who is already enlightened and one with everything? The only reason we want to change the past or future is because we have attachments, egos and other such issues. An enlightened being has no issues. </span></span><span style="font-family: "roboto", "arial", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">Someone</span></span><span style="font-family: roboto, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;"> who is ruled by the ego might want the power and glory of time travel. Someone with emotional attachments may want to go back in time and right a wrong or change something they are resentful about. </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #404040;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: roboto, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">One who is enlightened doesn't have to worry about any of these things because in order to obtain great spiritual and mental strength, he/she must let go of the ego and of emotional attachments. Therefore, if learning to transcend time and space requires complete control and mastery over one's mental and spiritual faculties, the whole striving towards wanting this power comes to a halt once we have it. We no longer want to use it.</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #404040;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: roboto, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">This is how I came to terms with realizing I could dream the future as a little girl. I wanted to see if I could control my visions and figure out if I could truly know which dreams were of the future or if they were just dreams. What if all my dreams were just alternative realities, portals to lives I would have lived if a I made a different choice? I used to go crazy trying to figure it all out. Then I realized, I could just let it go and enjoy the adventure.</span></span></span></span></div>
Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-15416696347565096822015-12-14T00:43:00.002-08:002015-12-14T08:34:21.292-08:00The Wolf and Whale Spirit Animal... Shamanic Journey Log continued<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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If you've been keeping up with my writings, you may know that I have been using Shamanic journeying a lot this past year to help me meditate. You can read more about it here:</div>
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<a href="http://laceyreah.blogspot.com/2014/12/my-shamanic-journey-log-spirit-animals.html" target="_blank">My Shamanic Journey Log (Spirit Animals) P.S. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!</a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: 12px;">http://laceyreah.blogspot.com/2014/12/my-shamanic-journey-log-spirit-animals.html</span></span></div>
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I've been logging a lot of my journeys and most of it has been in my private journal but I have shared some insights with my readers. Much of this past year has been about exploring what the raven had to teach me and she's helped me find out of box solutions to many problems. She's also encouraged me to keep journeying and uncovering the many dimensions I have failed to notice in my past. This blog is dedicated to the whale and the wolf who I have spent a lot of time also trying to understand.</div>
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At the beginning of this year, I made a resolution to come to terms with two different sides of my personality that seemed to be at odds with each other. I put the goal out there and it seems that I found the solution through my soul searching. The wolf, who I briefly met during my journey with the raven has helped me with this immensely. I see the wolf all the time and I don't have to be in a trance to find her. She appears anytime I'm about to do something stupid--my protector. </div>
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There are times when I hated her for it. I must admit that due to my upbringing and some genetic trait, I have always butted heads with authority figures--always the non-conformist. For some reason I saw the wolf as that, some authoritarian part of me who nagged me to be good. But through more self awareness and meditation, I realized that the wolf was only protecting me from elements that would prevent me from being the person I truly was and truly wanted to be. The wolf knew my soul, even though my own conditioning or immaturity sometimes failed to follow the path I have chosen. The wolf and I have done some bonding, some real human to animal bonding. I have not thanked her enough for saving me, for scaring away those who wanted to pull me down from a higher place into the gutter. I realized that there's a difference between letting go and being stupid; and giving into temptation is only fun if its a temptation that gels with my truest desires, and not the desire of a dysfunctional culture or flawed idea.</div>
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I’ve become more affectionate with the wolf and I realize that she is my split personality. Really, she’s only trying to protect me. She knows what my higher power really wants. Given my background, I could have ended up really messed up if it wasn't for her. I've found peace with her and peace with myself. I realized that the only reason why I've wanted to do some of the stupid shit she has saved me from, is because I wasn't loving myself enough. At one time, she was just an image who swore to protect me. Now I pet her and play with her. We have a relationship that I'm learning to nurture.<br />
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The Whale Log:<br />
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I met up with a group who practices Druid Shamanism. We did a journeying meditation inside a chamber of the Stone Henge (another story). I went into one of the chambers, having no idea what would happen but my subconscious roots brought me back to my spirit animals and I found myself swimming in an ocean. At some point, I convinced myself that I could breath underwater. Then a huge whale came. It must have been 30 times bigger than me. I latched on to its enormous body and let it move me through the ocean. It was an amazing ride, through calm waters, powerful tides and over immense waves. The water had a strong power to move me but I also had the ability to swim and move within it. The whale indicated to me that my emotions were the same way. I could allow the water to move me, motivate me, inspire me but I also had some control as I mastered the art of swimming and diving. It was up to me to decide how to control the immense power of water. The whale swam to a giant beating heart in the middle of the ocean floor and I latch on to it. This is all I remember.<br />
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Journeying has given me a method in which to speak to the wiser parts of my subconscious or perhaps even the consciousness of nature and the universe. It has helped me find courage and clarity in an ever changing and confusing world and it has helped me come to terms with parts of myself I didn't always know how to face. I think that if we are ever to get passed the places where we are stuck, we have to search deep down inside ourselves and explore the shadows that many dare not enter. I realize that it isn't everyone's path but I respect all paths that anyone takes to becoming a better person and overcoming one's obstacles.<br />
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For more adventures into my subconscious, check out my experience with the dragon, who taught me about oneness, here:<br />
<a href="http://laceyreah.blogspot.com/2015/06/the-dragon.html" target="_blank">http://laceyreah.blogspot.com/2015/06/the-dragon.html</a></div>
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-4202380027377136342015-11-29T20:46:00.001-08:002015-12-01T07:47:03.828-08:00Four Definitions of Love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Everywhere I look, people are confused about "love" but as I grow older and wiser, the true meaning becomes more and more clear to me. So today I thought I'd clarify some confusions about love by sharing the four main types of love that people talk about. You can read about them and decide for yourself which love you are feeling and which kind of love is worth fighting for. <br />
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There is the love of infatuation. This is what some call a genetic trick of the mind to get us to spread more sperm. It is the love that poets write about the most because poets write about what they don't understand. This is a blinding, obsessive love that we have no control over. It is not evolutionary. It rules our subconscious and lower senses and it confuses us completely. It doesn't make the world go round but it does help propagate the species. It is like a fairy serum that keeps us drunk to reality. Infatuation is something we all go through, a right of passage that could lead to either healthy, genuine love; or narcissistic love. Its something that just happens, something many wish would happen to them. Often, it happens at the wrong time with the wrong person.<br />
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There is narcissistic love. This love makes us think that another person is an extension of ourselves. We extend our ego to them and believe that anything they do is done to us. Co-dependent love is the same as naracissitic love because it comes from insecurity and lack of having a sense of a self of our own. When one believes that his only role is to serve another, that he is only good for providing for his lover or being his house wife or husband, he is not admitting that there is more to him than a role he plays for her. When one expects the other person to be there for her only and to be a servant, she is basically saying that she is not whole if he is not identifying himself with her. One becomes so obsessed with filling a role, that he feels trapped and ceases to grow. There is a lingering feeling that something is missing. This is the love of people who suffocate one another and people who stalk one another. This is the love of people who kill one another out of jealousy. A narcissistic lover can't be happy if there isn't someone there to constantly feed his ego. A narcissistic lover can't empathize with her lover or think selflessly about what is best for her lover because she is too wrapped up in her own needs. This kind of love does not make the world go round. It is a prison, a selfish love that destroys the self and the self of the other.<br />
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There is genuine, committed love. This is when love ceases to be a noun and starts to become a verb. Love is something one does, not something one feels. This is when one looks at another person and decides to be there for him, through thick or thin not because one has to but because one wants to. This is a love of choice, not something that just happens. Genuine love is also respect, sacrifice and compassion. One looks at another and wants her to be the best person she can be, not just for him but for her sake, for the sake of how she will serve her family and society. We know that love can not grow if we do not evolve with it. We provide attention, nurturing and time as one does when one tends to a garden so it can grow in a healthy way. We do not see this nurturing as a chore but as a rewarding meditation and an act of joy. In doing this, the relationship grows spiritually. This kind of love creates healthy bonds, healthy children and healthy communities. It takes a strong self to show this kind of love because commitment takes risk. One knows she could lose the other at any moment but she decides to love him anyway and allow him to be free to be who he is. Putting one's narcissistic needs aside requires him to be a better person so he evolves as a result. Because there is freedom to be who one is and enough maturity for development, one feels constantly fulfilled and happy. This kind of love helps the world go round because the time one puts into it brings its own reward. It develops maturity, wisdom and growth.<br />
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There is universal, spiritual love. This is when one looks at all things deeply and with respect and kindness. This love is the philosophy of people like Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King Jr. and Mahatma Ghandi. This love branches out to all people equally and has no prejudice. This kind of love successfully won the civil rights movement, has ended the cycle of violence, has rescued endangered animals and has inspired communities to help others who are in need. This love warms the heart and elevates the soul. This is the love of forgiveness. This is a love we should all strive towards. Not only does it make the world go round, it creates positive evolutions and higher states of awareness. It is the key to enlightenment and the true bliss we think we want when we are hit with love of infatuation, only spiritual love is not an illusion but universal truth, a profound realization and the highest goal of the soul. Like, committed love, it takes work, tending and commitment. It is something we do to make the world a better place, not something we are entitled to. This love is what keeps us from destroying each other as a species<br />
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-87675439927676809702015-11-21T21:20:00.001-08:002015-11-22T14:34:39.334-08:00I'm the Evil Twin. ;)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
When I was in college, I dated a man who seemed to be obsessed with pagers. Pagers were all the rage back then but I didn't own one. He kept saying things like, what do you think of pagers? Aren't they annoying? Do you have one? You don't? Are you sure? It was the weirdest thing. He also kept asking me about my whole name and if it was a popular name in my native country.<br />
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When we came to the end of our romance, right before we broke up, he asked me sincerely if I was seeing someone else. When I told him I wasn't, he confessed that he had a friend who was dating a girl with my exact same name. He described her to look just like me and we went to the same college. He said the only difference was that his friend kept saying that this girl was "hot for his jock" and that his friend kept having to page her. "I don't have a pager," I said, finally realizing why he kept asking me about them. By then, I think he finally believed me but that didn't matter because I had lost interest in him. I'm not good with boys who beat around the bush and can't be direct. Apparently, this had been bothering him for a while.<br />
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But the real subject of this blog is my doppleganger, the other girl who looks just like me. I know she exists because people always go up to me asking if I was at some party or telling me they saw me at a store or gym where I never was. People I have never met before act as if they know me. My overactive writer's imagination has entertained the idea that I have a twin and we were separated at birth. Due to some error, we were both given the same name. My mother said that when I was born, she got discharged from the hospital as fast as she could. She said that babies with pale, pink skin like mine were rare. Someone suggested that maybe I really was stolen. Maybe my mother saw us twins and decided that it was too much for one mother to have and that should at least get to take me. I knew my twin was out there somewhere.<br />
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The other explanation is that I have split personality disorder and that I go out and do things without remembering. This is why people say they've seen me at places I haven't been and why I date guys I've never heard of. Its possible.<br />
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I do like the twin idea, though. My writer's imagination thinks of what I could do when I finally meet her. We could take a vacation from our lives and trade places like "The Prince and the Pauper." We could show up to functions we don't want to be at. We could make weird youtube videos and tell everyone we used technology to make it look like there was two of us when there really wasn't. I've entertained ideas of making love to my twin, to finally feel what its like to be with myself the way my lover describes it to me, to touch breasts that are just like mine and kiss lips that are just like mine. Oh what fun we would have together!<br />
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I can't really say I've made an effort to go out and look for her. A google search revealed to me that there are many woman with my exact same name and they all look a bit like me (Lacey Reah is my pen name) Still, its fun to imagine and maybe one day I can write a story about my split personality or my mischievous twin. :D</div>
Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-83960679530512930612015-10-16T21:50:00.000-07:002015-10-17T07:56:04.833-07:00An Early Memory of Compassion<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">One of the earliest memories I have is living in Manilla. I must have been less than 4 years old because that’s how old I was when my parents moved away. I remember there being many stray animals that we tried to bring inside but my parents always caught us and told us to get rid of them. My dad always claimed to be allergic to animals. I even remember hiding a kitten or puppy behind the couch but my mum yelled at me to get rid of it.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I remember the torrential downpours and thunderstorms, nothing like the dry weather we get in Southern California. I remember some newborn kittens lying in our porch. I remember there being two of them and they were wailing in the wet rain. They were so tiny, only inches long. My brother and I watched and I wanted to save them. I remember how desperately I wanted to save them but my parents strictly forbade it. I watched them suffer from the shelter of our door. My brother and I put a handkerchief or napkin on top of them and watched as it disintegrated in the rain. Eventually, our parents made us go to bed. When I came back the next day, the orphans were gone.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I can recall it as if it were yesterday, the feeling of being small and helpless. I know that compassion is innate. I felt it when I was so young. My sense of compassion and curiosity was bigger than fear and apprehension, though I learned to fear things a few years later--even animals. I recall the feeling of wanting to save something smaller than me, of wanting to nurture something, even though I was so small and helpless myself. But I couldn’t do it because there was a larger authority forbidding it. I went against all of my instincts because a larger authority told me “no” and I had to obey.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was just a child. These days, I’ve quit jobs and risked my own reputation to do what I felt was right. I hate the feeling of helplessness. I’m an adult now. I don’t have to bow down to someone larger than me. I can do things for myself. Yet, I see it all the time, adults allowing bad things to happen because some authority figure tells them not to do anything. It happens in companies, clubs and in science experiments. Our greatest sin is our fear of judgement, of authority and of other people. Because of this fear, people get beaten, raped, cheated and killed. Witnesses stand by and watch helplessly when they could do something. They don’t. They’re afraid.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is why I’ve made it such a point to conquer fear. Without courage, no other moral has value. Action takes courage. You can’t do what is right or what you want if you are afraid. You can say you are a good person as you watch your peer rape someone in front of you without the strength to stop them. Without courage, what good is that supposed goodness? </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.” </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">--Maya Angelou</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I wrote another blog on this subject many years ago here:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="http://laceyreah.blogspot.com/2011/04/what-would-you-do.html" target="_blank"> http://laceyreah.blogspot.com/2011/04/what-would-you-do.html</a></span></div>
Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-40388300408037239822015-09-22T21:08:00.001-07:002015-09-22T21:08:26.757-07:00No Dancing Allowed<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I moved to New York City in 1997 without a penny to my name and with the fool notion I would get a job within a week and pay my way through school. I managed to succeed with a lot of hard work and very little sleep. Those were the golden years of the city. The internet boom was just about to start. Mayor Gulliani just came into office. The broken window policy was being enforced and crime rates were at an all time low. Meanwhile, the economy was getting better and time square was being transformed from a theatre district full of sex and strippers, to a tourist area with stores, restaurants and larger, more mainstream theaters, thanks to the Disneyfication of the area.<br />
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I witnessed a lot of alterations during those years. I still saw a lot of crime and homelessness but I saw a lot of excess and wealth as well. One memory that sticks out for me was the "No Dancing Allowed" rule that was starting to be implemented in bars and clubs everywhere. It sounds like a joke now and it sounded like one then as well. The city came up with a cabaret license and unless your club or bar owned one, dancing was strictly not allowed. There were "no dancing" signs posted everywhere. Some of them were very anti Gulliani. They stated, "no dancing allowed thanks to you know who."<br />
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I checked out one of these bars, which was known for its music and it had one of those anti Gulliani signs posted. The funny thing is, the music the bar was known for was New York swing music which is basically dance music. People started showing up to swing dance. They started swinging their arms and legs, grabbing their partners and twirling them around with furious glee. It was not your typical romantic dance, or even a fun dance. It was a rebellious dance. I saw staff members walk up to dancers and tell them to stop dancing, that it wasn't allowed. How did they respond? They danced faster, harder, in the face of all authority. It was fun to watch, fun to experience.<br />
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How, I wondered, can you put a license on dancing? How can you tax a person for tapping their feet or moving their hips? It was the most absurd law in my mind. Yet there it was; a law against dancing, smack dab in a world renown performing arts capital. Oh, and the rebels; they didn't protest calmly or march angrily. They danced hard, passionately, defiantly.<br />
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I can very much relate to F. Scott Fitzgerald's novella, "My Lost City." I lived in the ghetto, partied with the rich and watched the city go from rags to riches, to rags again. I only lived their for five years. By the year 2000, the economy was booming. Everyone had a job and everyone told me to take advantage of the good fortune while it lasted. By 2002, the market crashed badly and we had been bombed by terrorists. If New York had a personality, it would be Bi Polar. One day its gritty and poor, another artsy and rebellious. On one day its wealthy and opportunistic, another its retreating into fear and prejudice after the greatest terrorist attack that every hit the U.S. bombed thousands of its dwellers. I saw it happen but that's something else.<br />
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Before the darkness, there were good times, almost an innocent time -- if New York city could ever be thought of as innocent. I remember young, energetic people dancing hard and fast, rebel dancing over an absurd law. </div>
Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7796681326657276574.post-52960598615997006922015-08-23T13:29:00.000-07:002015-08-23T13:29:43.618-07:00I Thought You Were Different<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I remember this very well so it must be significant. I was at a college party where there was lots of music, pot and clicks. I can't say I felt entirely comfortable there. I sat down and started talking to some guests at the party and we formed a little circle. I think they felt as uncomfortable as I did at the seemingly entertaining milieu of the place, when really there wasn't anything interesting going on. I just wanted to talk to people who weren't just trying to look cool and for a brief moment, I found them. As the party progressed, I did something quite stupid, as we sometimes do when we are young. Then someone who I barely knew, someone who I just met at that party said to me, "I thought you were different."<br />
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It was a passing comment, something someone I can't even remember said in the middle of a very complicated night but I remember that most of all. I never took the time to ask myself why this was so significant until now. I remember feeling quite offended. Who was he to say he thought he knew me? He talked to me for maybe fifteen minutes at the most? I can't even remember what he had talked about, what his name was or what he looked like but I remember him saying that he thought I was different.<br />
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So today I'm wondering if a stranger could really "know" a person as he said he did. And who are we to say we are different? We are all special, yes, just like everyone else. Maybe I didn't want to be different or maybe I did. I never understood people who wanted to be like everyone else. I recall a line in a movie where the hero said that he just wanted to be like everyone else and the love interest said, "so you want to be petty and dishonest?"<br />
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Or perhaps what really got me was that this man who barely knew me turned out to be wrong. I did something to disappoint him. I wasn't different after all. How horrible is that? I was very embarrassed about what happened at that party but looking back, I doubt anyone really cared, except maybe for a good reason to gossip. Yet here was someone who barely knew me that I managed to disappoint. Could a perfect stranger care in this deep of a level? Maybe I care what people think of me after all. I thought I didn't. I didn't care what people thought because most people just want to judge or gossip but here was someone who thought I was different, who had expectations of me. He wasn't a parent or a teacher or any other authority figure, yet he had expectations. Why? Even now, as I use this subject as a thesis and as a focus of contemplation, I still don't get it.<br />
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I was raised to be very independent and growing up, I did everything on my own. I never thought it noble to care what other people thought. I have always had that John Wayne, cowboy, Wolverine mindset. Raw individuality always became me and its only now that I have a family, a business and a career that I see the importance of other people in our lives. Perhaps this is why I'm reflecting on what happened. Maybe its time for me to look back and see how my more mature self views what this young man said so long ago.<br />
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Maybe it does matter when someone sees something special in us. Maybe other people's expectations can make a difference. Maybe, looking back, I did get help along the way although I thought myself so independent. While I followed my heart, struck out on my own, payed my way through school and lived the dream, there were some people who encouraged me. There was my high school acting teacher who simply told me I was a genius. My high school English teacher told me I marched to my own drum. My boss who hired me even though most kids who were bum poor, paying their way through school dropped out and moved back home within a few months. When I told him I was having a hard time reaching some merchandise on the top shelf of the stock room, he simply said, "I don't think there's anything you can't do." I didn't care much for my boss, but I'll never forget that he said that. I remember when someone says that I am the person I want to be and I guess it does mean something now, when my clients tell me I've changed them for the better. So, when I disappointed this young stranger at a party, I guess I never forgot that either. Truth is, I disappointed myself. I am different... but we are not our mistakes. We are who ever we want ourselves to be and we have to keep reminding ourselves of this.<br />
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Lacey Reahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08177266926523175238noreply@blogger.com0