On Fame, Solitude, and Writing

When asked about their ideal future, over sixty percent of teenagers wanted to be famous. This seems to be a recent phenomenon. Perhaps it is the result of reality TV and celebrities like Paris Hilton, who isn’t known for any particular talent. Most of the teenagers polled had no idea how to be famous or had no talent in particular. They just wanted fame.

Upon hearing this, I look back on my own childhood. I remember wanting to be a writer. I think the last thing I wanted was fame. I loved stories and words more than anything. I thought that being paid to write would be the coolest thing in the world. I foresaw a peaceful life where I sit in my own backyard with only my typewriter as my companion. I wanted success so I could be away from people and indulge in my own fantasy world. Unfortunately, fame is a horrible side effect of success. If people don’t like me, I won’t sell books. If I don’t sell books, I won’t get paid for doing what I like.

Most writers prefer solitude over accolades and adoring fans. These days, we are expected to be highly involved in marketing strategies and promotional activities. Someone once told me that it was the price of fame. I had to remind him that fame was never my ultimate goal.

Yet, everyone assumes it is. They tell me that with my body, I can draw slews of fans if I wore something proactive and posed for the camera. But will that sell books? Maybe it will get me more hits on twitter but will that make me feel like I’ve achieved my dream? Today, I sit here, realizing that the original dream was to be left alone with my craft. If I could get paid for writing, I could escape all the other crap. It was a naïve, childhood fantasy, totally void of reality. After all, why would I want to be the center of attention? Why would I want my private life on display for everyone to judge? Why would I want to hear the constant snickering of people who hate me for being loved? There is something very scary about fame. Could it be that the fear of popularity can get in the way of success? After all, once you have a devoted following, you can lose them at the turn of a coin.

I don’t know what to say to kids who want to be famous. It’s amazing that anyone would want that kind of craziness over a life of peace and love. What happened to the idea of being good at something and getting paid for it? Perhaps kids don’t get enough attention these days. They are brushed aside as we check our iphones. I don’t know. If I were to say anything to youngsters, I think it would be that I hope their path has a heart in it. I hope they aren’t selling their souls to earn the unreliable love of strangers. I know this isn’t much of a blog for youngsters. I mostly just blog about what pops up in my head because that’s what I like to do. I know I don’t do it for the fame. 

I Can See The Future

I can see the future. I time travel in my sleep.

I guess this could be considered a gothic blog because it deals with mortality. It could also be considered a science fiction blog because it deals with the future. It could also be considered a spiritual blog because it deals with the truth.

The truth is, we are all going to die, and not the way we think we will. People like to think that we are all going to kick the bucket in December 2012. Really, we’re all in denial. The truth is much sadder than that, so sad that we refuse to deal with it. We want it to all end at once because that would save us the heartache.


The truth is we are all going to die at different times. The ones who remain alive will have to deal with the loss of those who die. Then they will die as more are born. That is the truth. What more is there to say about the future?


The truth is, we all know this deep down inside. It lies in the subconscious of every relationship. We all deal with this inevitability in different ways. Some of us push everyone away, opting to die alone over having to watch someone die. Some of us put our faith in the end of the world so we can all die together. Some of us try not to love each other as much because we fear it will hurt us more if we lose them. But deep down inside we know that you can't love someone just a little bit. You have to love them completely. There is no other way. So when you obsess over the petty little things, remember this truth.

To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go. 

- Mary Oliver

Censorship Thwarted and the Death of Paper

 Borders is closed. Now Encyclopedia Britannica is out of business. The newspapers are also going out of business. Times are changing. I can’t say it’s all bad. The ebook evolution has done wonders for independent authors and you can get news and information at the drop of a hat. I will miss paper. It’s easier on my eyes. I’m glad we’re saving trees but I wonder how much energy we use with all that electricity. I guess I can google that.  ;)

In other news, Papal reversed its censorship rule thanks to many independent bloggers and authors who spoke out against it. This victory puts me in a much better mood. There are laws that make us sick, and facebook is full of links to articles about stupid laws that the government tries to pass. It feels good to know that we do have a say on these things and that we can fight a suppressive law. They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Writers have been waging battles since the dawn of time and if we are censored, we will yell until it kills us. We have written our words on jail cell walls and have snuck books to other countries to be published. Censorship can’t stop us so there is no point in trying. We help societies evolve by introducing new ideas and new ways of thinking.

Why Same Sex Marriage is a Civil Right

The other night I was watching a movie about a man and woman living in the nineteen sixties. The man was black and the woman was white. Instead of sitting in the “negro” section of the movie theatre, they decided to sit together as they were falling in love. As a result of making this choice, the black man was hauled away, arrested and beaten so he would learn a lesson about where his place should be. We look back at the oppression colored people faced in the past and shake our heads in dismay. However, when a loving gay couple wants to get married, people try to pass a law that takes away their freedom to pursue such happiness. Years after the success of the civil rights movement, an unjust law (proposition 8) that takes away a homosexual’s right to marry is voted in. This law has been the focus of many lawsuits and is still going through an exhausting court system. How did this happen?

Proposition 8 YES adds exactly 14 words to the California State Constitution:

"Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

For the sake of clarity, I will now refer to all who oppose prop 8 as supporters of gay marriage and all who support prop 8 as oppenents of gay marriage.

I have no doubt that hatred for gays is alive in this country. I have personally witnessed prejudice against many groups including; racial minorities, women, and gays, many times in my life. This is why the law needs to be just regardless of the fact that many people are hateful to those who are different. Gays and other minorities have been victims of: bullying, murders, and lynching, which is why the law needs to be against such injustices. As my friend, Alfred Surenyan said to me, “it isn’t about tolerance. We should not tolerate hate and violence. It is about embracing other cultures and lifestyles and appreciating diversity.”

I’ve heard the main political factions that support proposition 8 say that they let their gay neighbors come over for barbeques. However, they don’t want their children seeing them married. I do not understand what the difference is. If they let their gay friends come over for barbeques, why do they not support their friend’s right to get married? What difference does it make to them if their gay friends are married or not, and how will this negatively affect their children? There are a lot of holes in this argument mainly because it isn’t based on any logic. It is based on a hidden prejudice against gays. This is like saying that you are against interracial marriage because you don’t want your kids seeing black and white couples together. However, some of your best friends are black. Being around a married gay people hurts no one, just as being around interracial couples hurts no one. If someone has a problem with who one chooses to marry, that is their problem. It should not be an excuse to pass an oppressive law. I would rather a person marry the one they love and enjoy the sanctity of living in an honest relationship, than watch a person marry someone they don’t love just to appease a law or a prejudiced society. Meanwhile, we see celebrities marry and divorce with a drop of a hat. We see people marry for money or politics yet we deny two gay people, who are in love, the sanctity of marriage.

Another argument I hear against gay marriage is that it interferes in people’s religious practices and beliefs. This is a fallacious argument because it isolates one particular belief and ignores the beliefs of others. This argument is oppressive to many religious groups and goes against our freedom of religion. I know many Christians who believe that Christ would gladly support gay rights if he were alive today. The other day, I was speaking to my friend, Alfred, about this topic. He is a Priest of the Wiccan religion. He marries people and also specializes in marrying gay couples. Now that one religion has been satisfied by not allowing gays to marry, his religion and holy practice has been affected because his right to marry gays has now been taken away. Religions had rights before this law was passed. They could marry whoever they wanted. Now they don’t have a choice. This is like saying that it is alright for one religion to pray in public but not for another. Our laws should be as fair as possible and they can only be fair if everyone has equal freedoms; freedom to pray and freedom to marry who they want to marry. If everyone has the right to do what they love and what they believe in, all will be fair. There is a difference between allowing people to believe in what they want, and changing a law that takes away a person’s right to marry who they want.

Here is a list of the many religious groups that SUPPORT gay marriage via wikipedia:

All six Episcopal diocesan bishops in California jointly issued a statement opposing Proposition 8 on September 10, 2008.^[89] Southern California's largest collection of rabbis, the Board of Rabbis of Southern California, voted to oppose Proposition 8.^[90] Other Jewish groups who opposed Proposition 8 include Jewish Mosaic,^[91] the American Jewish Committee, Progressive Jewish Alliance, National Council of Jewish Women, and the Anti-Defamation League.^[62] Los Angeles Jews were more opposed to Prop 8 than any other religious group or ethnic group in the city. Jewish Angelenos voted 78% against the measure while only 8% supported the measure; the remainder declined to respond.^[92] The legislative ministry of the Unitarian Universalists opposed Proposition 8, and organized phone banks toward defeating the measure.^[93] They see opposition to the proposition as a civil rights and social justice issue and their actions against it as a continuation of their previous works in civil rights.

In addition, the California Council of Churches issued a statement urging the "immediate removal of Proposition 8" – saying that it infringes on the freedom of religion for churches who wish to bless same-sex unions.^[94]

As for marriage always being between a man and a woman, this link shows that marriage between two men was once sanctioned by the Catholic Church:

http://www.christianity-revealed.com/cr/files/whensamesexmarriagewasachristianrite.html

The religious groups who OPPOSE gay marriage say that gays will sue them if they refuse to marry them. This is a ridiculous argument. In the past, gays could go to any of the above churches and be blessed in a same sex marriage. Now they can’t go anywhere to be legally married. A slew of lawsuits came out when prop 8 was passed because it discriminated against gays. If you want gays to leave you alone, grant them their rights. If you want gays to constantly protest and demand their rights, continue to oppress them. If you stay out of their business and let them marry whoever they like, they will stay out of yours.

The largest argument I have heard against gay marriage is that children would be taught in schools that gay marriage is the norm. This argument is not based on logic but a fear of change. Some people want to go back to a time when anything different was considered an abomination. Let’s go back to the time when gays were thought of as diseased and blacks and women were considered second class citizens. The stigma against gays has already changed due to many scientific studies. There is now a large body of evidence that indicates that being gay, lesbian or bisexual is compatible with normal mental health and social adjustment.

The American Psychological Association, the American Psychiatric Association, and the National Association of Social Workers state:

“

In 1952, when the American Psychiatric Association published its first Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, homosexuality was included as a disorder. Almost immediately, however, that classification began to be subjected to critical scrutiny in research funded by the National Institute of Mental Health. That study and subsequent research consistently failed to produce any empirical or scientific basis for regarding homosexuality as a disorder or abnormality, rather than a normal and healthy sexual orientation. As results from such research accumulated, professionals in medicine, mental health, and the behavioral and social sciences reached the conclusion that it was inaccurate to classify homosexuality as a mental disorder and that the DSM classification reflected untested assumptions based on once-prevalent social norms and clinical impressions from unrepresentative samples comprising patients seeking therapy and individuals whose conduct brought them into the criminal justice system. In recognition of the scientific evidence,[67] the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from the DSM in 1973, stating that "homosexuality per se implies no impairment in judgment, stability, reliability, or general social or vocational capabilities." After thoroughly reviewing the scientific data, the American Psychological Association adopted the same position in 1975, and urged all mental health professionals "to take the lead in removing the stigma of mental illness that has long been associated with homosexual orientations." The National Association of Social Workers has adopted a similar policy. Thus, mental health professionals and researchers have long recognized that being homosexual poses no inherent obstacle to leading a happy, healthy, and productive life, and that the vast majority of gay and lesbian people function well in the full array of social institutions and interpersonal relationships.[2]

”

As you can see from the evidence above, homosexuals will not affect your child’s schooling. The stigma against gays has been removed by most public schools in order to adhere to the latest scientific evidence with or without proposition 8. Videos (such as this one:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q723nhwu4C4&feature=fvst) that teach children that homosexuals will turn them gay have been removed from the school system decades ago.

What is wrong with teaching children that there is nothing wrong with homosexuals? I have heard way too many cases of gays being lynched and killed. These cases are almost identical to the ones that colored people faced before the civil rights revolution. When we point out other people as being different, it will lead to fear, hatred and violence. I choose peace and understanding. During the civil rights movement, proponents of segregation said if blacks were given the right to intermingle with whites, our country would grow more violent because the two sides cannot stand one each other. Yet, fifty years later, we see blacks and whites going to school together, working together, and even marrying each other. Having just laws has made whites and blacks friends and has encouraged peace within our society. In my own experience, I have seen homophobic people become accepting towards gays simply by becoming friends with them. Sometimes, being around people who we think are different is all it takes to realize that there was never any reason to hate or fear them. When my son tells me that his school mates make remarks against gays, I tell him that there is nothing wrong with being gay. This open minded approach has taught him to respect other people’s differences and I am raising one child who is less likely to bully or lynch an innocent gay person due to his ignorant upbringing.

America is the land of equality. Our Bill of Rights defends our right to pursue happiness regardless of who we are. If we are to live in a peaceful society, we need to uphold this bill and put it into practice. What is next for gay rights? We are still fighting proposition 8 in our courts. I am a huge proponent for civil disobedience. I have seen it successfully implemented by Ghandi, who freed India from English rule and by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. who ended the segregation of blacks. Civil disobedience is the act of disobeying an unjust law in order to make a point. I think gays should continue to apply for marriage licenses and to never take no for an answer.  Also, we need to get the word out and let the public know that America is not America if we continue to oppress gays which is why I am making this offer:

I will give a free paper back of my book, “Fireflies” by Lacey Reah to the best argument a person can write supporting gay marriage. Simply write your comment on my blog below. I welcome personal anecdotes. I would love to hear from you.

One who breaks an unjust law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for law.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

The Many Philosophies of Vampires

Happy Holidays everyone!  It’s been so long since I posted.  I’ve been very busy but I do long to write. This blog is about something I have been pondering a lot since I started writing my story about nymphomites.  The subject is Vampires.  What is it about them?  The question isn’t why are vampires so popular lately?  The question is why have vampires been so popular since their inception?  Every generation seems to spawn a new vampire trend and there’s just no escaping it. I’ve been pondering the literary and societal significance of vampires in my own twisted and philosophical mind.  It’s one of those subjects that can make my mind go off into infinity or be reduced to absurdity.  Vampires are scary, beautiful, ugly, funny and archetypical.  Below is a list of reasons why they are so universally popular.

Vampires are immortal and immortality is cool:  There are some people who wish to be immortal.  While this is against nature, many of us still crave the idea of being young forever, never growing old, becoming frail or getting wrinkles.  To think, we will never be sick, never be helpless and never lose strength.  There is self preserving aspect in us that simply doesn’t want to die. If we could be young forever, that would be so cool. We would be powerful and strong too, just like the super heroes of popular comic books.

Immortality is mythical and godlike: Some authors have taken the immortality of vampires to a mythological level.  Their vampires are like Gods that have been around for eons. These stories are epic, like the classic myths of ancient civilizations that are still told today.  These vampires are powerful and want to keep their power much like the Greek Gods. Some authors attest that vampires are the Greek, Roman, Norse or Egyptian Gods.  Some establish them as other characters from mythology such as fallen angels or Judas Iscariot. They rule societies and cast off enemies and create legendary battles and stories.

Immortality is historical:  The vampires who have lived for hundreds or thousands of years have a thing or two to say about history.

Immortality makes us think of our own mortality: On a smaller scale, vampires make us ponder our own mortality.  Seeing someone who is immortal makes us realize that we are mortal.  This can be life affirming.  We wonder what we would do if we lived forever which makes us think of what we should do because we don’t.  We look at our accomplishments and relationships deeply and we are moved in a subconscious way.

Immortality means your species can’t evolve: Not being able to evolve can be sad.  It means that after hundreds of years, you get bored.  There is nothing left.  So vampires become quite dark and depressing.  It also means that they are pure.  Vampires are a species that hasn’t changed and this appeals to those of us who like to learn about ancient civilizations and species that no longer exist.

Vampires are good looking and sexy:  Because they are forever young and powerful, vampires have sex appeal.  Sex sells.

Vampires are hideous and scary: The scary vampires appeal to our own love for anything horrifying.  We tell stories around the campfire and dare ourselves to not be afraid.

The lust for blood is a symbol for greed, sex, or hunger:  I experimented with this idea a lot in my book. What if I compared the hunger for food with the hunger for sex? I sometimes think that hunger is the worst feeling one could ever have and when we are starving, we do desperate things.  It is often confused with the hunger for sex which isn’t quite the same thing.  Still, we desire things and we are often ruled by these desires.  Literature gives us a great escape by indulging us in these desires.  Greed is another example of desire which is compared to hunger.  We are reminded of our own barbaric nature which can be a breath of fresh air when we are constantly told how to be civil by authority figures.

Vampires change from humans to something else: Vampires are immortal and don’t evolve but when they turn from humans into vampires it is a different story. This is evolution in of itself.  We are reminded of our own loss of innocence.  We are subconsciously reminded of a time when we realized that life may not be the way our parents taught us it should be.  It represents a time in our lives when we did something we weren’t supposed to do and will never be the same. It reminds us of our own inner guilt, our struggles to let go of someone who we no longer are, and our own longing for a simpler time. It also reminds us of how easily we can be led to evil.  We don’t want to be transformed and fight the temptation.  Some people beg to be transformed and want to change completely.

Vampires are at the top of the food chain: Humans are horrifying enough.  We are at the top of the food chain and have the ability to kill any animal.  So, when we ponder the idea of another species that is more powerful than we are and that feed on us, it is compelling. We are humbled as we put ourselves in the shoes of our own victims.  We kill animals and plants. We wreak havoc on Mother Nature.  So do vampires and they do so at our expense.  Finally, we know what it is like to be the victim. It gives us perspective and something to truly fear.

Vampires are dead:  They bring us closer to our own obsession with death. We like to think that nothing will really die. If our loved ones never died, would we let them be vampires so we don’t have to let them go? We are fascinated with death and want to be close to it.  We want to understand death and know that it is not the end of everything.

Vampires are like a disease: When they bite you, you become one. This appeals to our fear of disease, of germs, of catching something that might kill us or change our lives forever.

I can go on and on about why vampires are entertaining.  They bring up universal ideas that lie in the psyche of every individual. They can be hideous or beautiful, immortal or dead, godlike and archetypal, evil or good, funny or menacing, dark or silly, barbaric or sublime. There have been so many takes on vampires and I can’t say I like every interpretation but I do like the fact that people still tell vampire stories.  Why do you think vampires are so popular?

TIME

I remember an old T.V. show about a girl who was half alien and she had the power to stop time by touching her two index fingers together. A ding sound would chime and everything would be frozen. Then, whoever she touched would come out of the trance but time would still be frozen. What a cool power!!! I wish I had that power. It seems I'm always watching the clock. First I have to be here, then there. It's like a race. I even put aside some down time but it often gets overrun by time you didn't plan for esp. when cars break down and kids get sick and the down time turns into take the car to the shop time and the kid to the doctor time etc. etc. Then one day, the race just ends.


I guess it was the same before we ever had clocks. The sun told the time. Before there was ever electricity, we raced against light. But when that sun went down, we had to stop what we were doing. That is, until we invented fire. Forget about electricity, fire was the big light bringer. I bet ancient man felt so full of himself back then. "I made fire. I beat time. Mwahahhaahahah!" Such fools we are.


Someone told me that time is an illusion but if it is, then everything is an illusion. As long as I live in this reality, time is as real as the night and day. I used to think I had power over it, the way the first inventor of fire did. In my youth, I stayed up all night, worked all odd hours, attended school, partied and kept going and going, wearing our my adrenal glands with the idea that sleep is only for the dead. But nature has a way of slapping you in the face when you don’t listen. I started hallucinating; dreaming while awake and I realized that I wasn’t an exception to the rest of the human race. Then, when I graduated, I slept. I slept for a good week. I went to work and realized that I remembered things better and was sharper than ever. To this day, I have no idea how I functioned on no sleep or what it looked like to others.
We have invented machines that get us places faster and ways of growing food more efficiently. We have formed farms and cities to control nature. As an unintended consequence, we also invented smog, global warming and oil spills. We thought we knew something. We thought we beat nature but nature has a way of slapping us in the face.


Why are humans so hell bent in controlling nature? Is it because we were made after the image of God and we have the urge to create in our DNA? Yet, somehow, every choice we take to conquer time and the elements backfires. So I’ve accepted my fate and have stopped wasting my energy trying to conquer realities such as time. I think that when we are born, we are only given a certain amount of time. It’s in our DNA. We live, fighting it, afraid of the change that will come when it’s all over. It only reminds me how precious time is and I could spend all my time trying to fight it or I can spend my time enjoying every second of this finite life.

When I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills....

Truth is I'm changing.  I've changed so much I hardly recognize myself.  I'm changing for the better really, my whole mindset is maturing.  I don't accept excuses or silly melodrama.  I know that if I want something, I should just do it.  But I sometimes don't know what to do if I can't do what I used to do 'cause it's not me anymore.  I know, it makes no sense but I'm writing this more for me now.  Everyone we ever were, we love.  And when we change, we mourn a bit of ourselves.  We can be changing for the better.  We could be on the verge of enlightenment but some part of us hangs on to our old selves.  After all, it was a lot easier to be a lesser person than we are today and I do miss the crutches I used to fall on.  

I miss the way I used to write, not like how I write now isn't bad.  When I was a little kid, I didn't even think about writing.  I wrote the most incredible stories and used my imagination to see how far I could take them and I loved doing it.  Then I changed somewhere along the way.  Some English teachers started making me think I had to put meaning in everything.  I spent so long trying to find that old kid in me again.  But she's gone.  It's the things I really want that I'm afraid of doing 'cause I know what the cost is, my heart and soul and dreams and wishes.  

I'm just writing to relax.  No clarity tonight, no poetry, no sweet imagery.  Maybe I'll read this tomorrow and learn something about myself.