I haven't had the time to write much and tonight, I just have too. It's like diarrhea of the mind. I can't sleep without puking something out on paper. It's mostly due to the fact that I watched the news.
Rapes being covered up. Wars being fought over religion, people getting caught in drive by shootings and others killing their own family members. Why, who knows?
Just a while ago it occurred to me that much of my conditioned beliefs may be due to the fact that it’s what the people who conquered my people believed. Makes it sound different doesn't it? Why do you believe in the Bible? Because it’s what the people who conquered our people told us to believe... and so many cultures were destroyed due to uprisings. I have a soft spot for indigenous cultures, for Shamans who knew which plants could heal anything, and we killed their culture, allowing their secrets to die with them.
Here in Los Angeles, I have neighbors who are Muslim, Hindu, Christian, Buddhist and Pagan. If we can live in harmony, why can't the people fighting in the Middle East?
Why do we have this need to always separate and dominate, divide and conquer?
Why can't we see the beauty in each other? Why can't we learn from one another? Why can't we find similarities? Why do we insist on hate? Why do we resist forgiveness? Why do we kill each other, rape each other, orphan our children, separate families and enslave each other all in the name of honor or God?
I remember when the oil spill happened. My son came to me and said, "Turtle’s are dying." I said, "Humans are dying. Everything dies."
"No," he said, "Turtles are dying out because of the oil spill"
I said, "That's sad. Where did you learn about this?"
He said, "I heard it on the news and I wanted to cry because I love turtles."
You see, turtles are his favorite animal. I told him it made me sad too and truly, it does.
I can be the most stoic person in the world. I once heard a bullet whiz by my head while walking home in a gang neighborhood. I went home and went straight to bed. My next door neighbor's bedroom got shot up and I slept right through it but tell me about the turtle's dying out and the oceans being polluted and our lonely soldiers still out their fighting battles they may never have bargained for and I get all teary eyed. Things do make me sad, whether I show it or not. Sometimes I have to be the strong one so I won't show a thing. Sometimes there is too much work to be done to show emotion but it doesn't mean I don't feel anything.
I hear people say all the time that it won't matter in the future. In the future, we will leave what is left of the earth and populate outer space. In the future, we may not have any choice. We will make synthetic food and simulate gravity so our bones won't atrophy.
But I wonder, if all other life is dead, where on earth are we going to get the resources to make all of these synthetic foods and vitamins? Maybe I shouldn't say where on earth. Either way, we'll be alright. We'll seek out new lives and new civilizations, away from the oceans and the trees and the billions of different life forms that once shared our home. Either way, if this happens, I'll sure miss the earth.
People quote Jurassic Park all the time. They tell me that the earth will be fine. Don't worry about the earth. It's the people who will die out. And who cares about the people, right? After all we've done, why are we worth saving?
I find this to be a lame excuse not to be responsible for our environment. I love the earth. I love the trees, grass, mountains and beaches. I love the streams and lakes, the animals, the life that lives and breathes around me.
In my own lifetime, I've seen my lovely earth polluted, destroyed, blown up, cut down, etc.
I've seen animals disappear from existence. How many paradises have I seen paved down to put up a parking lot? It breaks my heart. It’s not just about saving the earth for humans. It's about saving something I love. As long as I'm here, I want the earth to be okay. I want to take care of it. It's part of me. Without the living, breathing sky, earth and water. Without the birds, insects, fish, whales, everything, I feel desolate and utterly alone.