Reflection on the past decade and the one to come, and why I don't social network as much

It's New Years morning.

I feel like I have to write something. Dare I post it on blogger?

I open up my blogger page and see all of these unpublished drafts. As the world has become more controversial over the past decade, so have my blogs, my logic, my feelings and my whole view of the world.

But I find that my writing muscles have atrophied of late. I've been putting the past five years into other endeavors, such as building my own side business, raising a family and playing sports.
I have been interacting more with people in real life. Due to this fact, I'm much happier and more content. This leads to less confusion, less obsessing and therefore, less writing.

Social networking was different during my myspace blogging days when we all used to read each other's blogs, comment on them and use them to fuel our need to write more blogs. I felt there was a strong sense of intellectual bonding back in those days.

But times have changed. People don't read blogs anymore. They read memes. The attention span of my audience and of my fellow bloggers have changed. Those I knew who took solace in blog writing in order to uplift themselves spiritually or gain a greater sense of understanding of the world no longer do it.

Our correspondence has been reduced to 140 characters. How nuanced can that be? Our reading has been wittled down to looking at slogans and pictures. Propaganda everywhere. We are being manipulated so easily.

 As one who has observed this from the outside, all I see is that we are being polarized. We react emotionally to those who don't share the same world view as we do. The best way to cope is to only surround ourselves with those who agree. This only pigeon holes our own world view even more and closes us off to the world.

Such is the nature of today's social networking. This wasn't the case during the original blogging days because there was more to read, more to reflect upon. These days, we see more posts but they are mostly pictures or clichés, created to illicit an emotional response.

The great thing about having conversations in real life is that there is this natural flow. You can see the reaction of that person. You can right away notice if there is a misunderstanding and talk through it.

I do love conversing with intelligent souls and I used to use social networking as a way to gain more of this experience but as people started becoming more emotional and defensive, I realized that the current virtual systems no longer work so I made an effort to be more present for others in real life.

When you play sports and hang out afterwards, you are willing to accept that person's differences and learn from them because the share the same passion for the game, at least. So the past decade has been a true turning to real life for me. I canceled my facebook account in 2012. I hear my friends beg me to come back. Meanwhile they complain about the trolls and the drama. I suppose misery loves company.

I was looking through an old box of memorabilia and found tons of handwritten letters from friends from the years when I moved to New York to peruse art. How insightful and whimsical they were, so unlike the political memes they now post on the internet. I felt like we really understood each other then as we shared our experiences and reflections. I felt as if we really respected our differences and tried to learn from them. But alas, things change.

In the end, it's my choice how I want to maneuver my life and spending less time on social media as the rest of the world starts to live there is my own choice. During a time of great social unrest and polarization, I have found a strange peace in my soul, a solace away from the constant distraction that used to leave my mind ill at ease. I'm more focused now and more capable doing more work.

I still pay attention to what's going on. I read at least 5 books a month, mostly non-fiction but fiction as well. It scares me that people I once knew who were avid book readers tell me they no longer have the time and attention for it because the hours they spend on Facebook has gone up. I read quite a bit during my commute as work and family takes up more time.

There was a time that we stopped talking to each other and would just go to our separate screens. Then I started meeting people online who would purposely talk to strangers because they didn't like their own family. I told myself that should never happen to me.

So as this new decade approaches, I keep these thoughts in mind. Relationships take work and we must focus on the important ones. Distractions are great when we are bored but if we use them to take away from important tasks, such as health, family and meaningful work, then we need to step back and use our free will to make better choices.

So long as I focus on what's important to me, it shouldn't matter what other people say or how they judge me. I never cared what people thought. Therefore, I never had to start huge movements trying to get people to accept me. Instead, I want to start movements that bring people together because it makes them happy and included. Instead of complaining that the world is against me because I'm a woman of color, I will continue to start my own movements that includes people, regardless of their own gender, orientation or race. I think that is more powerful. That creates waves of love rather than shouts of offense and defense. That's what I've been doing in my IRL work.

As my public philosophic writing has slowed down, I assure you that I haven't retreated into a bubble. I am almost too aware of our social situation but I'm spending more time trying to understand it. I'm speaking less and listening more. I'm reading books from all points of view because its very important to me that my own perspective is as close to the truth as possible. I don't want to react and cling to a political agenda without truly knowing what's important and what isn't, what works and what doesn't.

I realize that all I've been doing with these blogs is simply preach to those who already agree with me and push away those who don't. So I listen more than speak now. And when someone is listening to you, you are more likely to listen to them. If we keep doing things the way we've always been doing, it will just take us down the rabbit hole of more polarization, more hate, more depression and anger at those who just can't see things our way.

So I will continue to cultivate my own mind and body as I age, and I must say that I'm aging quite well, or should I say, not really aging at all? Only in understanding ourselves and empowering ourselves can we really understand and empower others. Only in changing ourselves can we change our lives an the lives of others.

Since my blogging days have subsided I have no idea if anyone would read this. Been so long since I've written and I can't blame my fans for losing me to the other distractions of the media. But if you somehow found this blog, happy new year to you. Happy new decade! Wishing you peace, love and strength in this changing world.