Thursday, September 15, 2011

When I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills....

Truth is I'm changing.  I've changed so much I hardly recognize myself.  I'm changing for the better really, my whole mindset is maturing.  I don't accept excuses or silly melodrama.  I know that if I want something, I should just do it.  But I sometimes don't know what to do if I can't do what I used to do 'cause it's not me anymore.  I know, it makes no sense but I'm writing this more for me now.  Everyone we ever were, we love.  And when we change, we mourn a bit of ourselves.  We can be changing for the better.  We could be on the verge of enlightenment but some part of us hangs on to our old selves.  After all, it was a lot easier to be a lesser person than we are today and I do miss the crutches I used to fall on.  

I miss the way I used to write, not like how I write now isn't bad.  When I was a little kid, I didn't even think about writing.  I wrote the most incredible stories and used my imagination to see how far I could take them and I loved doing it.  Then I changed somewhere along the way.  Some English teachers started making me think I had to put meaning in everything.  I spent so long trying to find that old kid in me again.  But she's gone.  It's the things I really want that I'm afraid of doing 'cause I know what the cost is, my heart and soul and dreams and wishes.  

I'm just writing to relax.  No clarity tonight, no poetry, no sweet imagery.  Maybe I'll read this tomorrow and learn something about myself.


  1. Stevie Nicks had such a unique, kick ass voice- that's for sure.
    Now that I think of it, very fitting choice.
    Hey, that damn near rhymed! Anyway, there.... I took care of the poetry requirements, Lacey. You know this kinda stuff is my favorite kinda writing no matter who the author is, lol.
    Hard to believe there were no comments here yet. Fixed.

  2. Thanks Way 2. I have yet to gain much of a following here as it is a fairly new blog and I don't blog as much as I used to. I do love Stevie Nicks. She is unique and stands out as an artist. I really appreciate the comment. ;)