Lately, I’m
learning who my friends really are. I guess I already knew who they were but
these things
become clearer during the hard times. Here are some awesome
character traits of my real friends:
They listen:
They don’t tell you that you are being negative and shut you down because they
don’t want to be brought down by your problems. They simply listen with compassion,
knowing that you would do the same for them. They actively care for what you
need to say at the time.
They are
objective: Most of the time, we need our friends when we have the hardest
decisions to make in our lives. Should we end a relationship? Should we move
out of town? Should we quit our jobs? While some people have forced their own
opinions on me, wanting me to be like them, my friends have never pushed their
own agenda on me. My false friends might tell me not to move because they want
me around. They might tell me to end a relationship so they can have me more
for themselves. My real friends help me weigh my options but they never inject
their opinion unless they have heard me out and they are looking at the
situation through my eyes.
They don’t
judge: I’ve confessed things to my friends that I am not proud of. I have said
this through pangs of guilt. My best friends answer back that I am human and
that no one is perfect. This doesn’t excuse me of my sins but it is nice to
know people who I can confide in.
They don’t
encourage me down the wrong path: While my friends do not judge me, they don’t
encourage me down the wrong path either. I have had friends who have tried to
push me towards a path of indulgence or addiction because they thought it would
be fun. Or, they were also living through their lower instincts and they wanted
someone to join them there. My friends would never advise me to be less of
myself. They objectively point out where I am going wrong.
There is a
reason why I am calling this blog, “how to tell my real friends from the false
ones” and not “how to tell your real friends form the false ones.” While I know
that some bad ass friends will encourage you to help them rob the liquor store
or indulge in something you want to stop doing, I’m learning that those kind of
friends are no good for me at this point in my life.
I have often
looked down on people who cut friends out of their life for bringing them down.
I would stick to a loyal friend forever, but now I understand that if someone is
always putting their selfish needs before your own, they were never a real
friend to begin with.
I have also
learned that you have to put yourself out there and be yourself to really know
who your real friends are. I tend to have trust issues but as I open up, my
real friends have started revealing
themselves showing their support.
I am truly
grateful to those of you who have shared your ear and support for all of my
silly faults and idiosyncrasies. Thank you. Thank you. You know who you are.
